IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the benefit of running a small business is to employ family members. What are the advantages and disadvantages of running a family business?

#people #benefit #business #members
These days, family businesses are really common and people who live in these sections believe that the benefit of these kinds of firms is that the family members are workers.
While
 running a family company has several drawbacks, I still think that cannot overshadow the merits. On the
one
 hand, the benefits of family
business
 are varied.
Firstly
, These firms at the beginning do not need special offices owing to the fact that family members can
work
 in their house with each other;
additionally
, they do not want to spend a lot of time on travel to
work
 .
Secondly
, if
one
 person found their own
business
, all members of the family can find job opportunities; in fact, all the people in
one
 family have income and do the
work
 with same as their situation.
On the other hand
,
this
 type of
business
 has different demerits. On the
one
 side, the manager cannot change the family workers who do not
work
 really well with professional workers, who
work
 very well and have a lot of yields;
Furthermore
, they help the company to develop immediately. On the other side, unfortunately, a group of people think that when they
work
 in the family
business
, they can spend their whole time speaking with each other
instead
 of working;
thereafter
,
this
 manner has a negative effect on
business
 profit.
To sum up
, in my opinion, the good points of the family
business
 can eclipse the bad points on account of the fact that it has a positive influence on the family economy and time.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention a personal story or a known example of a successful family business to make your point more vivid.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Use connecting words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion effectively, which is essential for a well-structured IELTS response.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of family businesses, providing a balanced view which is critical for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: