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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the benefit of running a small business is to employ family members. What are the advantages and disadvantages of running a family business?

#people #benefit #business #members
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These days, family businesses are really common and people who live in these sections believe that the benefit of these kinds of firms is that the family members are workers.
While
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 running a family company has several drawbacks, I still think that cannot overshadow the merits. On the
one
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 hand, the benefits of family
business
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 are varied.
Firstly
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, These firms at the beginning do not need special offices owing to the fact that family members can
work
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 in their house with each other;
additionally
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, they do not want to spend a lot of time on travel to
work
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 .
Secondly
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, if
one
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 person found their own
business
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, all members of the family can find job opportunities; in fact, all the people in
one
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 family have income and do the
work
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 with same as their situation.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 type of
business
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 has different demerits. On the
one
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 side, the manager cannot change the family workers who do not
work
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 really well with professional workers, who
work
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 very well and have a lot of yields;
Furthermore
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, they help the company to develop immediately. On the other side, unfortunately, a group of people think that when they
work
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 in the family
business
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, they can spend their whole time speaking with each other
instead
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 of working;
thereafter
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,
this
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 manner has a negative effect on
business
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 profit.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, the good points of the family
business
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 can eclipse the bad points on account of the fact that it has a positive influence on the family economy and time.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention a personal story or a known example of a successful family business to make your point more vivid.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Use connecting words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion effectively, which is essential for a well-structured IELTS response.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of family businesses, providing a balanced view which is critical for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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