In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Some communities are of the opinion that owning a home is more significant rather than renting it whole life. In my point of view, a possible cause of the problem could be that individuals are scared to become homeless someday
in addition
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to owning a house is an advantage.
This
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essay will examine the cause of wishing to own an apartment and the positive situation will be explored.
First
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and foremost, many people scary to become homeless in case of some problems with their health
such
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as disability.
Accordingly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if they are not able not
pay
Add the particle
to pay

It appears that the verb pay should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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for
renting
Change the form of the verb
rent

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb renting. Consider changing it.

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, they will be forced to live on the streets.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, buying an apartment when a person is young is the most relevant approach which could support the person in
complex
Correct article usage
a complex

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times

It seems that time may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when individuals are adults, they do not believe that there could be
time
Add an article
a time
the time

The noun phrase time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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when disability is possible in their
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lives
life

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lifes
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lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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.
Furthermore
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, people
are usually do
Change the verb form
usually do

It appears that the form of the verb do does not work with are in this sentence.

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not focus
of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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health and drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.
Hence
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, chances for possible problems with their bodies are increasing.
Last
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but not least, owning a house or a flat is an investment and
Correct your spelling
cash
Correct article usage
the cach
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Correct your spelling
cash

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Correct article usage
the cach
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cach
Correct your spelling
cash
which has been invested in
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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usually can be gotten back after selling an apartment.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, humans who are inclined to think not only about spending money but
also
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about saving salaries could allow retirement without poverty.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are two people: some humans who always allow buying overpriced products and order overcharged services, and
other human
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another human
other humans

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun human. Consider making a change.

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who
conservate
Correct your spelling
conserve

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a huge part of earned payment and invest them. Obviously, the
second
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

one has fewer chances to get wealthy. To sum up, the possible cause why communities spend a multitude of money on buying houses is that it is an investment in life without poverty. Whereas, possible problems like car accidents could decline the quality of life and restrict communities earn wages as they did it before.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeownership
  • Investment
  • Cultural significance
  • Financial security
  • Equity
  • Appreciation
  • Societal norms
  • Peer pressure
  • Social status
  • Stability
  • Lease renewal
  • Personal freedom
  • Modify
  • Property values
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