IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema other says to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema.

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinema
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Few people say that watching a
movie
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
cell
Use synonyms
 phones is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
Use synonyms
experience
Add the particle
to experience
show examples
 than going to a
Use synonyms
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 while others believe to
experience
Use synonyms
 a
film
Use synonyms
 completely one has to go to a
Use synonyms
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
. In my opinion, I agree with the
second
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I'm going to explain both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views. Convenience is one of the key benefits of seeing a
movie
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 while coming to
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 hall atmosphere plays a huge role in involving and enjoying the cinema. Some people who are working overtime
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have ample amount of
time
Use synonyms
 to book tickets to the
movie
Use synonyms
 and make a commute to the auditorium. So if they get
a
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 leisure
time
Use synonyms
, they use
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to watch a
film
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their mobile phones by sacrificing some of the amenities provided by the
film
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
theater like
Correct your spelling
theatre-like
show examples
 huge
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
,
background
Correct word choice
and background
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 noise. sound speakers are the entertainment atmosphere.
For instance
Linking Words
, a renowned
movie
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 was made with a budget of 1000 crores which was released in the
Use synonyms
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 as a 3d
movie
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. I watched that
movie
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 I did not feel that involvement and
experience
Use synonyms
 while watching it on the
phone
Use synonyms
. In Your leisure
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 if you want to spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
Use synonyms
 with your friends and family, you can get a different type of
experience
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
. If you're watching thriller movies with your friends that will be a memorable
experience
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin's visited my village in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
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 holidays, so they were getting bored so we just decided to go to a place where
horror
Correct article usage
a horror
show examples
film
Use synonyms
 was playing and everyone got frightened
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the spooky sounds and
frightened
Replace the word
frightening
show examples
 scenes. My point is one can never
experience
Use synonyms
 those kinds of
atmosphere
Fix the agreement mistake
atmospheres
show examples
 if they are watching
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 to get an unforgettable
experience
Use synonyms
 go to a
movie
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
save
time
Use synonyms
, you can use electronic devices to watch a
movie
Use synonyms
 with some compromises. I feel the former is better than the latter.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: