IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
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As the world infrastructure is changing in leaps and bounds
people
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 migrate to live in
cities
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 from rural
areas
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. Living in huge
cities
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 brings enormous health deficiencies to humans. I completely agree with the aforementioned view as
people
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 are prone to respiratory diseases as well as high
obesity
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. The following essay will elaborate
further
Linking Words
 with examples. To commence with, air pollution is comprehensive around the
cities
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, as the roads, flyovers are bridges are constructed with luxurious methods
people
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 tend to use private vehicles at a faster pace.
Furthermore
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,
cities
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 are the preliminary hub for all factories and skyrocketed buildings, since these businesses are emitting a huge amount of polluted air to the environment urban
areas
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 get polluted by air. As a repercussion, most
people
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 get respiratory sicknesses
such
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 as asthma. As an example, 90% of the world's population spends their time in
cities
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 due to
work
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 and other commitments, but most individuals are prone to diseases which are not even inborn.
Hence
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, living in metropolitan
areas
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 is luxurious with facilities the more
people
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 stay the more they get sick.
On the other hand
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, in rural
areas
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people
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work
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 hard to earn their living daily, according to research, some
people
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 walk more than 25km per day to get
work
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 done within these
areas
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Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 spend a healthy lifestyle. Despite
this
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, developed regions have metro trains, buses, trams, taxis and private vehicles where
people
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 do not need to walk even 1 km to get their
work
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 done and
people
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 barely walk from one place to another, so as a consequence humans are having high
obesity
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 rates over the past decade. To exemplify, individuals who are living in
cities
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 are having high
obesity
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 rates when compared to
people
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 living in rural
areas
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.
Thus
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, living in big metro
cities
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 gives various opportunities for humans for their daily activities most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 have health issues due to the luxurious lives they are spending. To conclude, even though big towns provide
people
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 with everything in one destination and make their lives easier, most
people
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 are having lung diseases and
obesity
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.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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