IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Today high levels of
sugar
 are contained in many sources of
food
, especially in manufactured
food
. And, of course, eating so much
sugar
 is not good for our health: it can cause just a simple cavy,
for example
, but
also
 worse problems, like the increasing level of
sugar
 in blood. Some
people
 suggest that sugary products should be more expensive, so
people
 would buy less of them. According to me, I think that
this
 solution is not the best one as sugary products include some types of
food
 that we eat everyday,
such
 as bread or pasta.
This
 foods, particularly the
first
 one, are really important in our diet, so make them more expensive will influence not only our lifestyle, but
also
 some
people
 wouldn't be able anymore to buy the most important
food
 for them. Just think
for example
 to poor
people
, who can maybe afford a few loads of bread per day: what would they eat if we increased bread price? I think that the best solution for
this
 problem would be informing
people
 about what they eat, because sometimes we don't even know that. They have already done something to inform
people
 about the characteristics of
food
, of course, and lebels are one of the most important thing, as they tell you all. the ingredients of a particular
food
. Yet, not many
people
 spend some of their time reading lebels, or, if they do it, they probably don't know the biggest part of the substances named in the list, as well not everybody knows that there is a specific order of the ingredients in the list. So something we could do is organizing some "talks" to inform
people
 not only about the function of lebels, but especially about the big amount of
sugar
 we eat everyday. I think as well that
this
 talks should be organised
also
 in schools, because
also
 children must be aware of what they eat,
besides
, children can tell what they have learned by these "conferences" at their parents, so the whole family would eat better. To sum it up, I think that it is not necessary to increase the prices of sugary
food
 and that all we need is information, that will lead
people
 to eat less sugary
food
 and, as a consequence, live better with less problems.
Submitted by lecinikoleta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!