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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends #development
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More and more juveniles tend to move out of their
parents
Use synonyms
' houses once they finish school in many countries. Some of them choose to live in their own houses or share an apartment with peers. In the following paragraphs, I am going to illustrate the reasons why I consider it to be a positive development.
To begin
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 with, living on their own is beneficial to learn how to be independent. Children can never count on their
parents
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 forever,
therefore
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, acquiring skills for surviving by themselves is critical for them. Take western countries as an example, mostly, when youngsters turn 18 years old, they are encouraged or even forced to leave
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 home and start their own lives by themselves. It helps young
people
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 learn to take responsibility and acquire living skills in
society
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. Because of
this
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 culture, young
people
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 in western countries like America and the UK tend to be more independent from their families.
In addition
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, there are more successful young entrepreneurs in these nations.
For instance
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, Elon Musk had to rent his own flat without his
parents
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' support. To survive, he spent effort and struggled to originate his company without his
parents
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' access.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that 18-aged
people
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 are too young to have normal lives by themselves. They are
also
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 concerned that youngsters will commit crimes to survive which increases the crime rate.
However
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, it can be prevented by improving education systems and
society
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's welfare. In conclusion, young
people
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's
decisions
Change the noun form
decision
show examples
 of living by themselves is an advantageous trend for
society
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. Without the protection of adults, juveniles will be pushed to work hard.
As a result
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, that can be the motivation for advancing
society
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the upsides do outgrow the downsides.
Submitted by Yuting20722 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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