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Band 7

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
Nowadays, there are many countries that turn their
society
 to become an elderly
society
 because the number of elderly
people
 increases. In order to improve, manage, and develop
this
 community to turn into an elderly community.
This
 essay will explain how to manage
society
 and give an additional opinion. While the
government
 focus on developing the community to be sufficient for elderly
people
, there is a field of thing that there need to concentrate on it. At the present, the landscape of the city is not appropriate for
people
. There is a
lot
 of broken footpath
that is
 not convenient for wheelchair users. To emphasize
this
 problem, there are a
lot
 of steps when they want to cross the street. Though there are a
lot
 of crosswalks that they are able to use, the legal punishment is not hard so it does not make
people
 scared of it.
Thus
, before we think of elderly
society
 improvement, we have to improve human life quality.
On the other hand
, the medical and health care service does not enough for every elderly person.
Although
 hospitals in Thailand become popular with foreigners, there are a
lot
 of
people
 who do not have enough money for spending on treatment.
This
 is the
government
's responsibility to control the treatment price so that makes everyone can easily the payment.
In addition
, the
government
 need to accrete the hospital is sufficient for every user. There are a
lot
 of patients that have to wake early to get to the treatment queue.
Hence
, if there are a
lot
 of hospitals, patients will easily access to get the health care service. In conclusion, as the number of elderly
people
 increases, the
government
 need to be concerned for improve our country to become an elderly
society
.
This
 essay explained the way to manage elderly communities with landscape and health care improvement.
Submitted by kamolivia13081999 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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