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Band 4

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always good.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
With
time
,
change
 needs to happen for the betterment of their lives. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals
chooses
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to live like they are living now to avoid
change
.
However
, others believe that it is
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to
change
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 pupils should
change
 to discover new things about
Correct your spelling
themselves
thmselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
. To start with, many don't like to
change
 themselves because they are used to the lifestyle. To explain, they are habitual
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 living and they are afraid of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change
 because
they
Correct your spelling
the
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 things many might
change
 and they are too lazy to
change
. To add more, they are following
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 has been told to do.
On the other hand
, with the passage of
time
change
 need to happen in everyone's
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Change
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyle to needed to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the
time
.
In other words
, with the
change
Add a comma
,change
show examples
 they are learning many things about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life so that they can be on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
par with others. Masses shouldn't think they are lacking in something. Technologies are upgrading so does the lifestyle.
For example
, a group of students from Stanford University reports that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have seen 59%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changing from post covid.
As a result
, individuals should learn after a specific period of
time
 frame. To conclude, in my opinion,
change
 is
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for upgrading themselves and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in today's world.
Submitted by dipanshu.kalra0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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