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Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
It is said that no
risk
 no gain,
however
, often it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us misfortune.Undoubtedly
this
 is true that without taking any type of chance
this
 is tough to achieve something special. I believe that in personal
life
 it’s can be terrible but in terms of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Corporate
life
people
 should think twice before taking any type of
risk
.
Firstly
, in our daily
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 we do several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
risky things and sometimes
this
 could be
mendatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
.
For instance
, often mass
people
 buy lottery and generally
Add a comma
,
show examples
this
 is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
costly
Replace the word
cost
show examples
.
However
, when they buy a lot amount of lucky lottery it could be
more risky
Replace the words
riskier
show examples
. In my perspective
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 is not essential. In
this
 type of
Add a comma
,invest
show examples
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
investor
Add an article
the investor
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their money
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 a few
winner
Change to a plural noun
winners
show examples
.
Secondly
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gamblers
Add an article
the gamblers
show examples
 play
gamble
Wrong verb form
gambling
show examples
 which is
quite
Change the article
quite a
a quite
show examples
 risky thing. They can
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 their capital by playing
this
. Maximum time they
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 but they play again, which is not important. Some
People
 say that
this
 is one kind of addiction.
On the other hand
,
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
 is not a curse for all sometimes
this
 is
blessing
Add an article
a blessing
show examples
. In corporate
life
 sometimes
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
 is essential. Many of my friends and neighbours have changed their carrier by taking chance.
For example
Add a comma
,
show examples
my best friend left his job
last
 year, which was not comfortable for
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
. He was unemployed
one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
 year.
This
 month he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 gotten a great job at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
company which is well paid and more comfortable for
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
,
although
 it brings good luck sometimes
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I believe
people
 should be
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 before taking
risky
Add an article
a risky
the risky
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
. If
people
 know enough
then
 the advantages could outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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