IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
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Various dietary preferences are becoming increasingly common. There is a constant debate regarding
meat
Use synonyms
 causing adverse effects on the body, advising people to embrace a vegetarian diet. I disagree with
this
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 statement and believe that eating
meat
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 in the right portions can actually cause health benefits
as well as
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 provide key nutritional benefits.
To begin
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, consuming non-vegetarian food is a very important aspect of our healthy lifestyle and should be incorporated into our meals daily. It provides us with an abundance of nutrition and can even help cure certain diseases.
For example
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, eating red
meat
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such
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 as beef or mutton provides us with the iron we need, proving beneficial for those with iron deficiency anaemia.
As a result
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, it helps alleviate and cure our health problems.
Secondly
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,
meat
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 provides specific vitamins and minerals that cannot be obtained from merely consuming vegetables.
For instance
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,
meat
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 provides vitamin B3 and calcium which are not found in many plants.
Hence
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, if not consumed in the right amounts can lead to deficiencies ultimately causing severe medical issues.
Similarly
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, seafood provides essential amino acids that are vital for muscle building and brain health. To cite an example, salmon fish provides the highest amounts of omega-3 fatty acids that are crucial for brain development.
Thus
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 , eating salmon can help with improving memory and many mental processes.
To conclude
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, even though vegetables supply us with numerous benefits, some key vitamins and minerals are still only obtained from
meat
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.
Furthermore
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, eating the right portion of animal flesh not only helps with our well-being by providing us with protein, but it can
also
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 help cure many diseases.
Therefore
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, I disagree and feel that a well-balanced diet should be maintained.
Submitted by tibsr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is directly connected to the main idea and supports the thesis statement.
task response
Consider addressing the opposing viewpoint and providing a clear counterargument to strengthen your response.
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