IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smart phones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and Disadvantages of this trend.

#internet #people #computers #phones #world #trend
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In
this
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 modern era, the internet makes it easier for the public to gain learning anytime and anywhere,
as well as
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, most of the time, it allows nations to acquire free
knowledge
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. On one side, if it comes with advantages, it
also
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 has some disadvantages, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs, with relevant examples.
Firstly
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, the biggest advantage of the Internet is giving free-of-cost
knowledge
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 to students who are unable to commute every day to their schools, despite
this
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, it is beneficial for pupils, who are unable to afford their academic expenses.
For example
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, my cousin studies from home
due to
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 his sickness, and the Internet is a basic key for his everyday
knowledge
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 gathering.
Moreover
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, people utilize the maps free of cost to navigate the routes for their
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 purposes, which saves them time.
As a result
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, the benefits of free
knowledge
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 from smartphones are worth it for individuals. On the other side, some human beings misuse free information for their matters,
such
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 as hacking computers, breaching confidential data, and stealing passwords by streaming YouTube videos or reading blogs.
For instance
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, 200 students breached data from the University of South Africa just by acquiring
knowledge
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 from online free courses.
Consequently
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, the disadvantages of free pieces of information, cannot be neglected, they need to be addressed. To synopsize, I pen down saying that, without charge, learning helps you succeed in academic purposes and find the locations. Still, on the other side, the wrong use of free education can put other communities in problems, which need to be addressed.
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging. Try to include a hook to capture the reader's attention right away.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, which is good. However, try to include more specific data or statistics to strengthen your points further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. This aids in presenting your argument cohesively.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your ideas is clear. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • knowledge
  • immediately
  • available
  • computers
  • smart phones
  • world
  • free
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • trend
  • access
  • wide range
  • information
  • opportunities
  • self-learning
  • personal development
  • enhancement
  • educational opportunities
  • research
  • academic work
  • promotion
  • cultural exchange
  • understanding
  • information overload
  • lack of quality control
  • spread
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • privacy
  • security concerns
  • dependency
  • technology
  • digital divide
  • unequal access
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