IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much as we want. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Few audiences believe that there should be a restriction on freshwater supply by the higher authorities since the amount of
fresh
Use the right word
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
 is very minimal. Whilst
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 others have an opinion that since
water
Use synonyms
 is a natural resource, no one has the right to impose control over the usage of
water
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 people can utilise it as much as needed. I would agree with the latter part that there should not be any restrictions on
water
Use synonyms
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
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. I would like to explain the two opinions and would like to express my notion in the
below essay
Correct word order
essay below
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the main reasons for a set of the public to think that governments should put a
blockage
Replace the word
block
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 on the quantity of
water
Use synonyms
 used by the nation is that the quantity of underground
water
Use synonyms
 is reducing day by day
due to
Linking Words
 the increase in the population in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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world.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent report from the NDTV has alarmed us that groundwater should be preserved and every individual should
purpose
Verb problem
conserve
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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water
Use synonyms
 to the least they can benefit.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
On
Fix capitalization
on
show examples
 the other hand, some parts of society
also
Linking Words
 opine that since
water
Use synonyms
 is a natural resource like air, it should not be preserved. Adding to it, a few reports revealed that a few businessmen are planning to make
water
Use synonyms
 into gold by controlling the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 by the public
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the rich people will decide the need for
water
Use synonyms
 for the poorer sections of society.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent report shocked the public that the for packing a bottle of
water
Use synonyms
 will be approximately five
rupees
Punctuation problem
rupees,
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whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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they are charging twenty
rupees
Punctuation problem
rupees,
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 thereby showing
to
Change preposition
apply
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society that the
water
Use synonyms
 business is
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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profits
Fix the agreement mistake
profit
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, I would like
to conclude
Linking Words
 by saying that even though there might be a scarcity of rainwater, it should be left to the individual to decide
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 necessity for
water
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, governments should encourage the community to value
water
Use synonyms
 as much as required for an individual.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in mind as you write.
task response
Give one good idea per paragraph and explain why it matters.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit and to move from one point to the next.
coherence
Use many small and common words; avoid long, hard words.
structure
The essay has a clear stance on the topic.
content
Attempts to give examples for support.
content
Some ideas on water as a resource are present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • resource management
  • water scarcity
  • water conservation
  • equitable distribution
  • water wastage
  • efficient usage
  • individual freedom
  • economic growth
  • industrial needs
  • agricultural demands
  • personal viewpoint
What to do next:
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