IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

As technology develops, more shopping and business is done through the internet while communication face to face becomes less frequent. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#technology #business #internet #communication #face #development
Over the years, there has been significant development in the field of
technology
. It is interwoven with human life.There are
people
 who believe that in the era of
technology
,
people
 do most of their transactions online while the importance of
one
 on
one
 meetings has been reduced. I opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 trend has more positive sides than negative. There are many advantages of online transactions.
Firstly
, It reduces human efforts and time. Nowadays,
people
 are living in nuclear families, where everyone is working. In
this
 hectic schedule, it would be difficult for humans to go to the malls and do shopping. With the help of the internet, everything is available (grocery, clothes, financial services..) at the fingertips.
Moreover
, there are more options available on an online website.
For example
, there are several applications from where
one
 can buy clothes of all brands. In my country Myntra application is quite famous as it gives all the brands under
one
 roof, which give
people
 ample choices. In the world of
technology
, Industries are
also
 inclined towards digitalisation. Earlier,
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
Correct your spelling
invested
sinvested
Correct your spelling
invested
 enormous amounts in training and transportation for enrolling new employees. With the help of
technology
, companies can reduce their transportation cost as most of the meetings or training have been given on digital platforms only, which saves huge funds for organizations. In some exceptional conditions, employees can work from home without disturbing their personal commitments.
However
, there has been an immense increment in cybercrime over the years. Online transactions feed the data to the respective applications and that can be purchased by anyone from that application owner,
this
 data is about the name, mobile number and bank details of the buyer. We all have been witnessing fraud on daily basis because of the availability of data. Overall, I believe that with enough due diligence
one
 can reduce cybercrime. As
this
 trend saves a lot of time and effort it has more positive sides.
Submitted by himalibhavsar7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: