Some people think that the individuals who make the most money are the most successful. Others believe that the most successful are those who contribute to society, such as scientists and teachers. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion.
Defining success is a difficult task. According to some
people
, those who earn a lot of money
are the most successful. Others, however
, insist that those who make a difference to
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
through their invaluable contributions are more successful than the richest. In my opinion, both of them are successful in their own right.
Rich people
are undoubtedly successful. In fact, almost everyone wants to be rich. If wealth was not an indicator of success, few people
would want to amass it. So, obviously, money
is a measure of success. Rich people
can enjoy every comfort and happiness that money
can buy. Better still, they can also
make a difference in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
if they want. Some of the richest people
in the world today are also
known for their philanthropy. By using their Add a hyphen
hard-earned
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
money
, they are improving millions of lives in the undeveloped world. This
would not be possible if they were not rich.
On the other hand
, scientists
and teachers also
contribute to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and in some cases
their Add a comma
,cases
contribution
has a greater impact than the contribution
of the wealthy. We owe all the progress that we have achieved so far to scientists
. If they had not spent countless hours on research and experiments, we would still be living in caves hunting animals for food. Likewise
, teachers make invaluable
Add an article
an invaluable
contribution
too. They mould the future generation and equip them with the skills and knowledge required to be successful Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
scientists
, doctors, engineers and entrepreneurs. Hence
, their contribution
cannot be ignored.
In short, anyone who contributes to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
by improving the living conditions of the less privileged should be considered successful. Professionals like scientists
, doctors and teachers are capable of doing this
and so are rich people
. Hence
, in my opinion, all of them should be considered successful.Submitted by nbhartu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite