Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health

this

contemporary epoch, most individuals have very hectic schedules.

Due to

busy life, people get

health

ailments because they are not able to

exercise

daily.

This

essay will delve into the reasons behind the above scenario and will provide some solutions to

this

problem.

To begin

with, the most prominent reason behind

this

is the stress of the workload

due to

which humans are unable to get some spare time for

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

. Lack of

exercise

leads to various serious

health

issues

such

as diabetes.

For instance

, promises to meet deadlines drain the stamina of people are they are not left with any energy for the workout. Most individuals are adopting

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sedentary lifestyle

due to

technical advancements. They love spending their free time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

surfing

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

rather than going to the gym for body

exercise

. To solve

this

issue, it is vital for every creature to understand the importance of

health

. “

Health

Is Wealth”

therefore

, humans need to make a proper schedule for them that must include an hour for body

exercise

to themselves fit.

Moreover

, meeting the work agenda should be necessary but it should not affect human

health

negatively. Lack of

exercise

and too much workload can lead to serious troubles.

Furthermore

, the government can open a gym near to office building to facilitate

exercise

To conclude

, as per the testimonials mentioned above

it is clear that

huge work pressure and technical gadgets are the major reasons behind the lack of

exercise

. To solve

this

problem, humans should change their way of living and the efforts of executives can

also

be taken into account.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

While the essay adequately addresses the task and provides relevant examples, there is room for improvement in structuring ideas more clearly and logically.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on each main point with more depth and detail, providing a clearer explanation of how the examples support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transition words and phrases can help improve the overall coherence and smoothness of the text.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of sentence construction and stylistic choices to avoid abrupt or disjointed sentences. A more natural flow of ideas will strengthen your coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the discussion.

task achievement

Relevant points and examples have been provided to support the main ideas, which is a good practice.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the question: why people don't exercise and potential solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Time constraints
Sedentary lifestyle
Passive leisure activities
Workplace wellness programs
Active commuting
Subsidized
Public awareness
Health benefits
Incentivizing
Accessible public spaces

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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Some people argue that the content of what children watch on television primarily influences their behavior, while others believe that it is the amount of time children spend watching television that has a greater impact on their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.