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Writing Samples
Band 7

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

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It is believed that in successful corporations good communication between managers and staff is more crucial rather than other aspects.
However
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,others think that there are several things which are more vital to the success of a
company
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.In my opinion, both sides are right, but the combination of them would benefit more for the organizations.
Firstly
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,it is impossible to reach high results without good teamwork in a
company
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.Nowadays,almost every
company
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 have a huge amount of labour who must get on well with each other ,in order to complete the tasks. Good communication between the director and employees guarantees the quality of performed work ,
while
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 poor teamwork in a
company
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 would always have chaos which makes the job harder.
For instance
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,today only a few companies don't require teamwork and good soft skills because these skills are essential for modern jobs.
On the other hand
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,there are lots of other factors which
made
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make
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 the organizations successful
such
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 as advertisements, technology and rivalry.The modern world has a lot of examples of corporations which had poor communication between administrations and staff,
however
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,they had great results thanks to other aspects.The right direction in the development of business is one of the indispensable parts of successful organizations,
in other words
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, the structure of the companies makes a firm successful.
To conclude
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,despite cooperation between employers and workers being a vital factor it is not enough to make a firm successful and it is more crucial to improving a
company
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 in many directions.
Thus
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, the combination of several factors is the best way to improve a firm.

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logical structure
Strengthen the logical structure of the essay by ensuring more seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
relevant specific examples
More specific and relevant examples could be used to better illustrate points made about teamwork and other business success factors.
clear comprehensive ideas
Elaborate on ideas more clearly, ensuring each main point is fully developed and supported.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
complete response
The essay answers the question by discussing both the importance of communication and other factors contributing to organizational success.
relevant specific examples
Effort is made to provide examples to support the arguments, which enhances the essay's relevance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication channels
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • workplace harmony
  • issue resolution
  • escalate
  • organizational culture
  • motivation levels
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • performance evaluations
  • fairness
  • transparency
  • criteria
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