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Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people say that advetising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things . others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it . discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #attention
Some individuals believe that
advertisements
 change our mind to buy things,
meanwhile
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,meanwhile
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 others
says
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say
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 it is nothing if we no longer concentrated on it. I would certainly disagree
the
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with the
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 point, to change
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Change noun form
people's
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 to buy things by tempting them.
Firstly
, advertisement is a very crucial one in businesses and marketing.
However
, without
an
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apply
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advertising
people
 do not get aware
about
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of
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 the
product
, even though it was released by a big company like google, apple, etc.
As a result
, it will tempt
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 to buy the
product
.
In addition
,
people
 would definitely
loose
Replace the word
lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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control over financial management. In previous days we only see ads
in
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on
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 television but now we are seeing
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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in
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on
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 computers and mobile phones.
Moreover
, these
advertisements
 generated
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 based on our interests and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be a possible threat
for
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to
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 our privacy. There are other
set
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sets
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 of
people
, who usually do not get attracted to the
product
 even if it popped up to them for thousand times.
On the other hand
, they may get frustrated
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 about seeing the
advertisements
 repeatedly. To overcome
this
 kind
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of issues
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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, adding
a
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apply
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functionality like closing or never
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 again the advertisement would be highly helpful because if a person likes it, either he/she would definitely buy or just skip it. In conclusion, even though
advertisements
 are the backbone
for
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of
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 marketing,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be limited. In my way of thinking, promotion of the
product
 is necessary but just to make the
people
 aware about it and not to tempt it.
Submitted by usprem02 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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