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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people say that advetising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things . others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it . discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #attention
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Some individuals believe that
advertisements
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 change our mind to buy things,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 others
says
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say
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 it is nothing if we no longer concentrated on it. I would certainly disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
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 point, to change
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 to buy things by tempting them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, advertisement is a very crucial one in businesses and marketing.
However
Linking Words
, without
an
Correct article usage
apply
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advertising
people
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 do not get aware
about
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of
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 the
product
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, even though it was released by a big company like google, apple, etc.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will tempt
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 to buy the
product
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 would definitely
loose
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lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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control over financial management. In previous days we only see ads
in
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on
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 television but now we are seeing
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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in
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on
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 computers and mobile phones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
advertisements
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 generated
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 based on our interests and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could be a possible threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 our privacy. There are other
set
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sets
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 of
people
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, who usually do not get attracted to the
product
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 even if it popped up to them for thousand times.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they may get frustrated
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
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 about seeing the
advertisements
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 repeatedly. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 kind
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of issues
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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, adding
a
Remove the article
apply
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functionality like closing or never
show
Wrong verb form
showing
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 again the advertisement would be highly helpful because if a person likes it, either he/she would definitely buy or just skip it. In conclusion, even though
advertisements
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 are the backbone
for
Change preposition
of
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 marketing,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be limited. In my way of thinking, promotion of the
product
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 is necessary but just to make the
people
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 aware about it and not to tempt it.
Submitted by usprem02 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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