IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is considered that taking
risks
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 is essential both in one’s professional and personal life.
While
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this
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 action can have adverse effects on the individual,
such
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 as financial loss or strained relationships, or on others,
such
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 as their company, I strongly believe the benefits it brings about outweigh the drawbacks associated with it as it opens doors to many opportunities and allows
people
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 to learn from their experiences. One of the most apparent disadvantages
when
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, when people take risks,
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people
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 take
risks
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 is the consequences they will grapple with if they fail.
For example
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, if entrepreneurs invest in the wrong cooperation, they may lose a significant amount of money that they have worked diligently to earn. Negative outcomes occur not only at work but
also
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 in
people
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’s personal lives. To illustrate, one might put their relationships at risk if they do not succeed when taking
risks
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.
Furthermore
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, taking
risks
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 in professional environments can
also
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 adversely impact other
people
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.
For instance
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, a worker taking
risks
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 might result in a company’s financial and client loss, a damaged reputation, and other issues.
However
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, I would argue that taking
risks
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 is vital for
people
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 since it provides many potential chances. Humans have always been discouraged by the demerits they have to deal with if not successful, but it is the
risks
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 they take that enable them to broaden their career path or flourish in their private
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Without taking
risks
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, many
people
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 would not reach new heights in their jobs or have a loving family.
Furthermore
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, failures or successes achieved from
risks
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 contribute to one’s experience so that one can learn from their errors and enhance the next time.
For instance
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, a poorly performed exam could motivate students to study harder and provide references for them to improve their performance in the next exam. In conclusion,
while
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 taking
risks
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 can result in numerous consequences,
such
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 as losing money or relationships, those consequences are minor compared to the profound opportunities and lessons offered and are
therefore
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 outweighed.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear central topic which is then elaborated upon with specific examples and clear logical progression. Avoid general statements that could apply broadly, and instead focus on constructing well-developed arguments that directly support your thesis.
task achievement
While the response provides a clear position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking, providing more detailed examples would enhance the argument's impact. Each main point should be substantiated with specific, relevant examples that directly correlate to the topic. This helps in developing a more compelling and comprehensive response to the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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