It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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The world ,where we live and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

our lives is endangered.Some

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

,people must accept risks both in

occupational

Add an article

an occupational

the occupational

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wise and

also

Linking Words

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

lives,while

others

Use synonyms

oppose showing the demerits by obeying

risk

Use synonyms

.In

this

Linking Words

essay,I will

further

Linking Words

discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the good and bad points of taking

Use synonyms

Add an article

a risk

the risk

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

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and convey my opinion in conclusion. Let’s discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

professional

life

Use synonyms

,one of the crucial

merit

Change to a plural noun

merits

show examples

this

Linking Words

notion is

development

Replace the word

developed

show examples

either in terms of business or work wise.

For example

Linking Words

,an employee irrespective of his effort and ideology ,if he

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not want to take a

risk

Use synonyms

: he remains

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pay

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paid

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worker but not

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apply

show examples

Change the article

show examples

entrepreneur.Elon mask,Mark Zuckerberg,Tata,Ambani etc on the list.

Major

Add an article

The major

A major

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negative effect is

it’s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

result

Add an article

the result

show examples

if we are not planned and impatient.Accepting

risk

Use synonyms

needs a brave heart and smart mind because one has to face the consequences.

For instance

Linking Words

,lack of prior knowledge and dependency yields bad results which are quite difficult to face.In

general

Add a comma

,general

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we see in many newspapers by believing in

others

Use synonyms

people

invests

Correct subject-verb agreement

invest

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in quick money schemes and

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

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doomed.So,one should be keen

about

Change preposition

show examples

one’s

risk

Use synonyms

factors.

Secondly

Linking Words

,we evaluate personal

life

Use synonyms

,best point of

this

Linking Words

notion is

escape

Fix the infinitive

to escape

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from boring daily

life

Use synonyms

and

recharging

Wrong verb form

recharge

show examples

again.To elucidate,some do risky

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

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like having extra

martial

Correct your spelling

marital

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affairs,participating in illegal works,

making

Correct word choice

and making

show examples

problematic works to

others

Use synonyms

.Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it feels

trilled

Correct your spelling

thrilled

show examples

for the people doing it,it affects the

others

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who may be strangers or

dependent’s

Change noun form

dependents

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,which makes it a major drawback

also

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

,participants

Change preposition

show examples

bike or car races conducted outlaw,

although

Linking Words

it excites them there is

negative

Add an article

the negative

show examples

result too,like accidents,caught by police,and

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

death. There is always a connection between professional and personal

life

Use synonyms

,which

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

affected in both ways.If there is

professional

Add an article

a professional

the professional

show examples

problem it reflects on personal

life

Use synonyms

and wise. In conclusion,by taking into account all aforementioned points ,I personally believe that

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

outweigh the advantages in

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

life

Use synonyms

as for professional it can be equal.

Submitted by ravellamounika on Sun Nov 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before. Some people sayan aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change and developing countries. other believe that all countries should have the same responsibilties towards protectiong the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.