It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

The world ,where we live and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

our lives is endangered.Some

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

,people must accept risks both in

occupational

Add an article

an occupational

the occupational

show examples

wise and

also

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

lives,while

others

oppose showing the demerits by obeying

risk

.In

this

essay,I will

further

discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the good and bad points of taking

Add an article

a risk

the risk

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

and convey my opinion in conclusion. Let’s discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

professional

life

,one of the crucial

merit

Change to a plural noun

merits

show examples

this

notion is

development

Replace the word

developed

show examples

either in terms of business or work wise.

For example

,an employee irrespective of his effort and ideology ,if he

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not want to take a

risk

: he remains

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pay

Change the verb form

paid

show examples

worker but not

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change the article

show examples

entrepreneur.Elon mask,Mark Zuckerberg,Tata,Ambani etc on the list.

Major

Add an article

The major

A major

show examples

negative effect is

it’s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

result

Add an article

the result

show examples

if we are not planned and impatient.Accepting

risk

needs a brave heart and smart mind because one has to face the consequences.

For instance

,lack of prior knowledge and dependency yields bad results which are quite difficult to face.In

general

Add a comma

,general

show examples

we see in many newspapers by believing in

others

people

invests

Correct subject-verb agreement

invest

show examples

in quick money schemes and

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

doomed.So,one should be keen

about

Change preposition

show examples

one’s

risk

factors.

Secondly

,we evaluate personal

life

,best point of

this

notion is

escape

Fix the infinitive

to escape

show examples

from boring daily

life

and

recharging

Wrong verb form

recharge

show examples

again.To elucidate,some do risky

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

like having extra

martial

Correct your spelling

marital

show examples

affairs,participating in illegal works,

making

Correct word choice

and making

show examples

problematic works to

others

.Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it feels

trilled

Correct your spelling

thrilled

show examples

for the people doing it,it affects the

others

who may be strangers or

dependent’s

Change noun form

dependents

show examples

,which makes it a major drawback

also

For example

,participants

Change preposition

show examples

bike or car races conducted outlaw,

although

it excites them there is

negative

Add an article

the negative

show examples

result too,like accidents,caught by police,and

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

death. There is always a connection between professional and personal

life

,which

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

affected in both ways.If there is

professional

Add an article

a professional

the professional

show examples

problem it reflects on personal

life

and wise. In conclusion,by taking into account all aforementioned points ,I personally believe that

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

outweigh the advantages in

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

life

as for professional it can be equal.

Submitted by ravellamounika on Sun Nov 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. Some people say public speaking should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?