Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #history #museums

Children are the milestone of every community and I believe in the famous quote that says “our past is a determinant of our present and future ” so without having to know

history

we roll into the world without a vision. I believe that children could learn about

history

from visiting museums

however

it restricts the child to

know

Wrong verb form

knowing

show examples

just about the

history

of their country or place because it is definitely not practical to visit all museums in the world to know about

history

this

gives them a narrow vision of what true

history

is because not every country has a huge historical background some have past that goes back to thousands of years while others have hundreds of years. We can never

defite

Correct your spelling

define

the advancement of technology which makes everything possible and easy that's why using technology I.e historical ebooks, documentaries, live

footages

Fix the agreement mistake

footage

show examples

etc makes the globe feel like a small bubble with just

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

clicks that allow you to know so much about different countries and cultures without having to be live in the place it's self

nevertheless

it helps drive your current imagination to accept and understand how our ancestors used to be back in the days.

Add a verb

amI

wasI

show examples

strongly

second

that using multiple resources to know about

history

is more efficient and effective than having to walk into a museum

Correct your spelling

show examples

know about the past as there are many useful means of learning

history

that outweigh that of visiting.

Submitted by maria_makarious on Mon Nov 28 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be need because people can see historical objects and works of arts by computers. Do you agree or disagree