Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend while others argue that it leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In today's modern world technical gadgets become a significant place in student's life.
While
a group of
people
believe that gadgets have more benefits, others think it is detrimental to learners. From my point of view, the education system should teach to scholars learn without the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
pupils can accustomed to computer services.
This
essay will discuss both sides. On the one hand, students need to be aware of a huge of knowledge. The main reason for
that is
at school teachers, could not give them full of information,
moreover
, if it is a public school, which means countless scholars.
For instance
, they could use
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
or Wikipedia and other search sites to understand the whole of the subject.
However
, we can not influence of internet in our educational system, when
people
can do any type of task much easier and do not waste
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to
loccate
Correct your spelling
locate
sources.
On the other hand
, academic curricula should strengthen
such
qualities as the ability to respond quickly to various issues, and critical thinking
while
the internet slows down
this
process.
Last
scientific research evidence that new devices are slightly stopping
people
's work of the brain system. It can be not unsensible to young
people
.
Nevertheless
, when a person gets
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
age, he might have some diseases with eyes and memory. For illustrate, we have seen
this
in the baby's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. They truly would not live without smartphones and pads. In conclusion, a new generation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will be dependent on the information on the sites, causing their intellectual effort
will
Verb problem
to be
show examples
weak as scientists predict.
Although
, we could not struggle with the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
,
due to
nowadays it is essential for learners especially.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay adequately discusses both sides of the issue but lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the ideas. The response could be more comprehensive and precise in addressing all aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there are gaps in coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the connection between ideas needs improvement for better flow of information.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: