Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A group of
people
opine that economic
development
is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
target
Add the particle
to target
show examples
of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
, while some think that discrete
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
development
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
equivocal important for a
country
. I personally support the latter proposition and will present relevant points along with precise examples and
backup
Correct your spelling
back up
show examples
my view.
first
of all, economic
development
is key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
success, because without financial
development
any
country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not reach
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
target, and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not concentrate
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
sectors,
moreover
financial
development
country
invest
Change the verb form
invests
show examples
money
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
weak sectors. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
Correct your spelling
Qatar
quatar
Correct your spelling
Qatar
is
economical
Correct article usage
an economical
show examples
development
country
, so that, they invest their money in which sector they are weak. like cultivation, sports etc.
secondly
,
financial
Change the word
financially
show examples
development
country
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
independent. They can make their decision freely, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to concentrate
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
every
Change preposition
of every
show examples
branches
Change to a singular noun
branch
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their land.
For instance
,
African
Change preposition
in African
show examples
countries
, Sudan is economically
Correct your spelling
undeveloped
undevelopment
Correct your spelling
undeveloped
,
as a result
, they
depend
Add the preposition
ondepend
show examples
helper
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Hence
, they do not take any decision to develop their
country
.
However
,together with economical
development
morality is important
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
to develop any
country
. when
people
do not maintain or follow honesty, truthfulness and trust, they do not keep their economic
development
stable position.
For example
, when
people
do not trust you, they never deal with you
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
agreement or without help or
trust
Add a comma
,trust
show examples
people
will not work together.
As a result
, progress is difficult
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
Secondly
, education is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
to upgrade any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. Education
help
Change the form of the verb
helps
show examples
to open eyes, which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to
Add an article
the reached
show examples
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
show examples
position
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
For example
,
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
are 100% educated, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they realize right or wrong,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
it result, they are well developed. In conclusion, it is obvious that every
sectors
Change to a singular noun
sector
show examples
are needed to make
Correct article usage
a development
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
country
. So I think that
today's
Change preposition
in today's
show examples
contest other types of progress are gained.
Submitted by kazishihab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: