Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #team #sports #football #volleyball

It is argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

adolescents

adolecents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

should pay more

Correct your spelling

attention

attantion

Correct your spelling

attention

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

teamwork by playing outdoor activities like football and volleyball rather than

sports

which are played individually. In my opinion, participating in

team

sports

might be the best option for everybody since

such

kind of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities that

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been played as a

team

can

also

help students to boost their thinking abilities.

This

essay will provide an argument for both statements. On the one hand, these days one of the best ways of enhancing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

critical thinking is by taking part in

team

sports

since they

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

an opportunity for individuals to improve their thinking while playing a certain game.

Furthermore

, in today’s contemporary world, there are a number of cyber

sports

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

also

widely available through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media which can

also

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

a significant number of opportunities that help especially students

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

mental improvement. Taking PUBG MOBILE as an example which is one of the most popular and effective

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

to improve teamwork has been played by over 1000000000 humans.

On the other hand

, there are

also

some obvious beneficial sites of individual

sports

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

for people who are willing to be healthy and fit since while humans are doing these

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities they

also

might be able to focus on only training and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

fit rather than

sports

which are played as a

team

which are especially aimed to improve mentality.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent studies

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

shown that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans who are physically strong and fit have mostly played individual

sports

rather than those who mainly take part in

team

sports

. To conclude, having weighed everything mentioned

Change preposition

apply

show examples

I can come to the conclusion

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that, it would be the best choice for students to

Correct your spelling

concentrate

consentrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

playing

Change preposition

on playing

show examples

team

sports

since they help them to be more productive

Correct your spelling

oin

Correct your spelling

their studies.

Submitted by Premium Version on Mon Nov 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Undoubtedly, achieving happiness is the paramount milestone of every human being on earth. Although it is hard to define true happiness under certain benchmarks, there are still some generic steps contributing to the attainment of happiness.
8
band
ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
History is but an account of the progress of human civilisation , however, since the study of it has no tangible benefits like the sciences, many consider it useless. Contrary to this, others view that dude should learn from his past to better the present and mould the future. This essay delves into both these contrasting ideas, ere a conclusion is evolved. First of all, the former opinion is based on the fact that the study of the past is unproductive. For instance, the past is only an account of man's past wars and conquests. Studying learning, on the other hand, is helpful to fellows in many ways. Moreover, extensive research and newer innovations are essential for human beings to be able to face the enormous demands of the ever-increasing masses. Only discipline can save the world in future from total destruction. In contrast, the latter view is founded on deeper thinking. It argues that humans should know the paths they have trodden (= travelled) in the past to becom...
7.5
band
Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?
Leaving their hometown to start university life is becoming more common for many students. This essay will argue that although it may make their journey financially more challenging, such a decision is far more advantageous because it leads to independence.
6
band
Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Most people tend to think that the government have to prioritize the usage of its money on public services rather than spending it on art, like paintings and music. In my opinion, I side with that argument for several reasons.
6
band
Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extend do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
Differences between countries are turning to less plain. In the present day, people come across the same video. This writer argues that the drawbacks of they will lose their nation's culture and they will live in a foreign culture outweigh the benefits of people are easy to find people who have the same hobbies.

Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extend do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?