IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #team #sports #football #volleyball
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It is argued that
,
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apply
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adolescents
adolecents
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adolescents
 should pay more
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attention
attantion
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attention
 to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 teamwork by playing outdoor activities like football and volleyball rather than
sports
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 which are played individually. In my opinion, participating in
team
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sports
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 might be the best option for everybody since
such
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 kind of
sport
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sports
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 activities that
has
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have
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 been played as a
team
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 can
also
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 help students to boost their thinking abilities.
This
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 essay will provide an argument for both statements. On the one hand, these days one of the best ways of enhancing
the
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apply
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critical thinking is by taking part in
team
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sports
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 since they
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create
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creat
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create
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 an opportunity for individuals to improve their thinking while playing a certain game.
Furthermore
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, in today’s contemporary world, there are a number of cyber
sports
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are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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also
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 widely available through
the
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apply
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social media which can
also
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create
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creat
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create
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 a significant number of opportunities that help especially students
for
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with
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 mental improvement. Taking PUBG MOBILE as an example which is one of the most popular and effective
way
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ways
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 to improve teamwork has been played by over 1000000000 humans.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some obvious beneficial sites of individual
sports
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especially
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,especially
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 for people who are willing to be healthy and fit since while humans are doing these
sport
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sports
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 activities they
also
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 might be able to focus on only training and
get
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getting
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 fit rather than
sports
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 which are played as a
team
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 which are especially aimed to improve mentality.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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recent studies
has
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have
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 shown that
,
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apply
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majority
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the majority
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 of
the
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apply
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humans who are physically strong and fit have mostly played individual
sports
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 rather than those who mainly take part in
team
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sports
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. To conclude, having weighed everything mentioned
up
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apply
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I can come to the conclusion
with
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apply
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that, it would be the best choice for students to
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concentrate
consentrate
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concentrate
playing
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on playing
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team
Use synonyms
sports
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 since they help them to be more productive
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in
on
oin
Correct your spelling
in
 their studies.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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