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Band 7.5

Some people think that robots will replace many jobs, while others think that technology will create new job opportunities. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion.

#people #robots #jobs #technology #job #opportunities
Over the
last
 few years, the question of whether
robots
 and technology will replace human
jobs
 or create new opportunities has sparked considerable debate.
While
 some people strongly believe that many
jobs
 will be lost
due to
robots
, others argue that technology and AI will generate new professions. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both points of view and present my own opinion. On the one hand, some people argue that many occupations will disappear and be taken over by
robots
. Currently, we rely on
humans
 for accounting and finance services, human resources management, and business analytics.
However
, there is a belief that
robots
 and artificial intelligence will soon replace
humans
 in these roles.
For example
, ChatGPT has already taken on responsibilities traditionally held by
humans
 in some large companies.
On the other hand
, despite these concerns, many believe that new technologies will create new professions.
While
 new information technologies and artificial intelligence may eliminate some old-fashioned
jobs
, they
also
 pave the way for new ones. When trains first appeared, many people feared they would lose their
jobs
. Cartwrights and truckers worried that machinery would render their skills obsolete.
However
, the advent of trains and rail transportation systems eventually created numerous new careers.
To conclude
,
although
 some support the idea that
robots
 will take many
jobs
 from
humans
, others advocate that technology will create even more new job opportunities. From my personal point of view, the importance of technologies and artificial intelligence in our current era is crucial. By collaborating with these advancements, humanity can achieve a brighter future.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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language
Your essay would benefit from a more varied range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate higher proficiency in writing. Try to incorporate complex sentences where appropriate.
task achievement
Some points made could be expanded further to strengthen the argument. For instance, you could provide more specific examples about new job opportunities created by technology.
structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs for each point of view and a conclusion summarizing your opinion.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively outline and wrap up your argument, respectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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