IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
Studying
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Study
Add an article
The study
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 is key
of
Change preposition
to
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future while
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that higher
study
Use synonyms
 is required to achieve a successful career.
Although
Linking Words
, others believe that it is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
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 way to get a
job
Use synonyms
 after completing
school
Use synonyms
. I will discuss both points of view and give my opinion in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
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 paragraphs. To being with, there are some reasons for studying at university or college is
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 path
of
Change preposition
to
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successful
Add an article
a successful
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 career. The
school
Use synonyms
 teach
basic
Add an article
the basic
a basic
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 level of subjects. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the college and university teach
advanced
Add an article
the advanced
an advanced
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 level of
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 subject. So, after completing
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 have
vast
Add an article
a vast
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knowledge
Use synonyms
 of their field.
For example
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, if students get
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
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 after
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
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 they do not have enough
knowledge
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
socially
Replace the word
society
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.
Such
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 as, how to deal with other
people
Use synonyms
 and how to convince
about
Correct pronoun usage
them about
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 their products or anything else. Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the student
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 after
degree
Correct pronoun usage
their degree
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,they have
knowledge
Use synonyms
 in every field.
Moreover
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, nowadays
Correct your spelling
competition
compitition
Correct your spelling
competition
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased so students have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 skills or
knowledge
Use synonyms
 companies do not pay higher.
On the other hand
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, the student who
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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job
Use synonyms
 after
school
Use synonyms
 will be
ceret
Correct your spelling
create
 some problem when companies give promotion because they do not have any idea to
managing
Wrong verb form
manage
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team
Correct article usage
a team
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 and deal with
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, the survey
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
times
Correct article usage
the times
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 India shows that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of children
join
Change the verb form
joins
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 after
school
Use synonyms
 but they can not apply for higher studies in college and university. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, in the near future
people
Use synonyms
 have not good education in our country. In conclusion, the
study
Use synonyms
 is
most
Add an article
a most
show examples
 important part of our life when
people
Use synonyms
 believe that if children
better
Add a missing verb
have better
show examples
future
Fix the agreement mistake
futures
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 and good
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 they have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enough education and
Correct article usage
a vaild
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vaild
Correct your spelling
valid
 degree. While, others think
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
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 is not useful for
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 so,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
that
 say that it is better to get a
job
Use synonyms
 after
school
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, my opinion of the former point of view because education is too important.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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