IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#teenagers #lives #generations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is definitely true that modern youngsters have to endure more stress nowadays
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 their foregoers in the past. Since we live in a century of rapid technological development, we should be thankful and grateful
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 its opportunities but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there has been a significant development in offspring’s emotions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will extensively explain reasons to support my opinion based on real-life examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is a myriad of reasons for
this
Linking Words
 dramatic change, one of them as I have already mentioned is
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technological advancement.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily because in the past children were mostly playing outdoor games and the worst punishment for them was staying home all day long.
However
Linking Words
, the situation has changed and now our young ones are addicted to video games and social networks.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they are not leading
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 life.
For instance
Linking Words
, one recent study has indicated that emotion that
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 from playing video games has dramatically affected children’s mental health.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is eminent that the emotional health of modern young people is worse than
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 their ancestors at the same age.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is not a secret that education systems have changed for the worse more than for the better. A program became more saturated and despite it
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 more knowledge, it
also
Linking Words
 provokes stress in our young ones. The burden of daily school life,
tons
Correct word choice
and tons
show examples
 of homework contribute
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 emotional tension. Children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free time, so in many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 they cannot dedicate quality time to their families or to their friends.
For example
Linking Words
, some students have to pull an all-nighter in order to read up for exams and to have excellent marks.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sleep and may not even eat during the day. In a nutshell, nowadays lives are totally tense and one of the reasons is the pace of life. A great number of people chasing a dream, get into a kind of competition and forget to rest. Awareness of what you are doing will help you to obtain success but only if you are able to endure significant stress.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: