Some people believe that women should be allowed to play an equal role to men in police and military forces. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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There are different opinions regarding
women
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’s
role
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in police and military forces. Some argue that
women
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should be given equal opportunities in these professions,
while
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others argue that they are not suitable for these demanding
jobs
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. On the one hand, there is a pressing issue regarding equality and fairness between genders;
therefore
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,
women
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should have the right to work in demanding
jobs
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,
such
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as police and military force. It is crucial to allow
women
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to boost their aptitude and interest, for it may not be achieved when solely performing household chores.
Thus
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, these occupations can not only help
women
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to foster feelings of pride and achievement but
also
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the government and country indirectly benefit from
women
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’s
role
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A salient example of
this
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is the war in Israel, where
women
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are capable of combating invasions shoulder to
shoulder-with
Correct your spelling
shoulder with

The word shoulder-with doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
men
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be allowed to play an equal
role
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
men
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, potentially leading to a more progressive society.
On the other hand
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, some believe that as these
jobs
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are demanding and require dedication, persistence, and physical strength, they are not suitable for
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. These
jobs
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may create a gap between personal lives and professional commitments, making it challenging to balance their work and family responsibilities. In a way,
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to stand guard or go on missions during the war, which may overshadow the
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s
role
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at home,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as family caring or raising children.
However
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, I am of the opinion that both
men
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
women
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can contribute to family responsibilities. The lack of collaboration and empathy should not be a restriction for
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who do not pursue their personal goals and aspirations. In conclusion,
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some assert that
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not play an equal
role
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
men
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in police and military forces, as they may struggle to balance their personal lives and professional commitments, I believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is not a valid reason. By implementing flexible schedules, both genders can effectively establish a balance in their lives.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, offering
women
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

opportunities in these occupations would promote equality and fairness, which has always been a worthy pursuit.

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task response
The essay excellently addresses both views, providing a clear and comprehensive response to the task prompt. Ensure to maintain this thoroughness across all parts of the essay.
task response
Continue to use specific and relevant examples to support your ideas, as demonstrated in your mention of women in the Israeli military. This strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, and your arguments are presented in a logical order. Ensure consistency by maintaining clear connections between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Although your points are well-supported, further examples or evidence could enhance your arguments even more and provide greater depth.
task response
The essay presents a clear and balanced discussion, considering both perspectives on the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, clearly framing the argument and summarizing the key points.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, which aids in maintaining a clear and coherent narrative.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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