IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What is the benefit of travelling for the traveler?

#people #case #benefit #traveler
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Curiosity
Use synonyms
 has been human nature for many centuries. Be it Christopher Columbus or Neal Armstrong
curiosity
Use synonyms
 has taken
people
Use synonyms
 to new places. The same
curiosity
Use synonyms
 still forces
people
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
. Due to recent development in technology and
advent
Correct article usage
the advent
show examples
 of new means of
Use synonyms
travel
Add a comma
,travel
show examples
this
Linking Words
 has become very easy.
People
Use synonyms
 after retirement save their money to see the world. Teenagers take time backpacking to new places and gathering new experiences. Since the advent of cars or trains travelling within countries became easier.
For example
Linking Words
, many religious
people
Use synonyms
 used to dream of visiting Vatican City. Now travelling to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Vatican City is very easy. In ancient times Silk Route from China to Europe was connected to carry
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
silk and spices to the other side of the world.
People
Use synonyms
 for centuries only had a hint of the taste of foreign cuisine. Now they
travel
Use synonyms
 to explore various cuisines. Due to global opportunities
available
Add a comma
,available
show examples
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 for work. A few countries
such
Linking Words
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 China and India are blessed with more population while countries
such
Linking Words
 as Australia and Europe have ageing
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 unable to carry their economy ahead. Many
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 for better life and opportunities
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the developed world. As English is a global language, has become a whole lot easier now.
The
Correct article usage
Travelers
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 learn a great deal from their new experiences.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 has become less expensive and faster.
This
Linking Words
 is the number one reason. Another reason is that now more and more
people
Use synonyms
 have a disposable income. They can
travel
Use synonyms
. Social media shows
people
Use synonyms
 the places visited by their friends and family and
thus
Linking Words
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
 their
curiosity
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for work, education and business. To
Correct your spelling
sum up
show examples
sum-up
Correct your spelling
sum up
show examples
, new means of transport have made
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 easy. Those with curious and adventurous
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 enjoy
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 enriches
people
Use synonyms
’s lives with varied experiences.
Submitted by pnchanikan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: