Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and dive your own opinion.

Individuals argue that family members should educate their children on how to be responsible citizens,

while

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others believe that educational institutions are the environment to get educated on

this

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. I believe both factors are equally vital in shaping the person, since both contribute equally to their understanding of communication. Children often act

similarly

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to their parents, picking up their frame of mind.

For instance

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, approximately 60% of individuals with guardians who act unethically in public tend to show similar attributes when faced with similar situations.

Furthermore

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according to

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recent research, kids grow up watching how their parents handle certain situations and learn from their actions .

In other words

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parential

Correct your spelling

parental

influence is a crucial factor in what kind of citizen one would be once they grow up.

However

Linking Words

, school is a place where kids engage in social events and take steps into real life, so they should be guided on how to be future leaders. To illustrate, an average student spends more than 50% of their high school life in classrooms, spending half a day with their classmates and teachers.

Therefore

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, it is understandable if every educational institution starts giving them classes on being upright members of society.

For example

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, in Japan, schools do not give homework but rather make elementary students clean the classrooms and hallways, resulting in an understanding of hardship.

, they

Punctuation problem

They

show examples

grow up to be model citizens who at least do not throw trash on the streets. In conclusion, some people say that children should learn how to be contributing members of society from their family,

while

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others argue that a scholarly environment is the place for it.

Nevertheless

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, in my opinion, both are significant in shaping a group of individuals.

Thus

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, parents need to be good role models

as well as

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academies should focus not only on their academics, but

also

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on character development.

thebesttella

Jul 15, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to vary your sentence structure to improve engagement. Use a mix of short and long sentences.

coherence and cohesion

Add clear transitions between points to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Be careful with grammar. Double-check sentence structures, like subject-verb agreement or article usage, to ensure clarity.

task achievement

You provided good examples to support your points, like the example from Japan’s schools.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

309 words

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and dive your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

in their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is that? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

These days, many people rely on traditional medicine instead of visiting doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?

There are increasing student Drop from school, please share your opinion

In some countries around the world, men and women are having babies late in life. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?