The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
are of the opinion that the average standard of people
’s health
will be reduced in the future compared to the
Correct article usage
apply
people
’s health
currently. To some extent
I agree with Add a comma
,extent
this
statement and I would like to prove my stance through this
essay.
Maintaining very good health
is crucial for a long life. In my opinion, the
diet plays a very important role in keeping Correct article usage
apply
people
healthy. In the olden times
Add a comma
,times
people
mostly consumed home food and were not exposed to processed food. This
led to a large population of people
having a long and healthy life. In the
recent times, processed Correct article usage
apply
foods
have gained popularity and consumption of these foods
has drastically increased. Processed foods
are made using higher amounts of oil, Correct your spelling
sweeteners
sweetners
like sugar, and some kind of taste enhancers which are very harmful. Correct your spelling
sweeteners
This
trend has led to a decrease in the health
of people
and thus
reduced their lifespan.
Another very important component of maintaining good health
is exercise
to keep one’s mind and body fit. A few years before machines were introduced, Add an article
an exercise
people
did most of the household chores on their own which itself was a form of workout and this
made sure that people
were fit and healthy. As agriculture was one of the main occupations in the past, most people
worked in
Change preposition
on
the
farms and Correct article usage
apply
this
kept them fit. People
involved in other occupations such
as fishing had to manually fish which involved a lot of physical work. All of this
made sure that people
had a balance of good diet and exercise to keep themselves fit. With the advent of machines and IT jobs, most people
have a sedentary lifestyle and this
has caused an increased incidence of health
problems such
as heart problems and stroke.
To sum up, if people
in the future try avoiding processed foods
, exercise every day for half an hour and avoid stress, they can aim at improving their average standard of health
. Although
it is hard for people
to follow a healthy lifestyle if efforts are made in this
regard, it will definitely bring about the desired results.Submitted by pnchanikan on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite