The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some
people
are of the opinion that the average standard of
people
’s
health
will be reduced in the future compared to
the
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people
’s
health
currently. To some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
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I agree with
this
statement and I would like to prove my stance through
this
essay. Maintaining very good
health
is crucial for a long life. In my opinion,
the
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diet plays a very important role in keeping
people
healthy. In the olden
times
Add a comma
,times
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people
mostly consumed home food and were not exposed to processed food.
This
led to a large population of
people
having a long and healthy life. In
the
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recent times, processed
foods
have gained popularity and consumption of these
foods
has drastically increased. Processed
foods
are made using higher amounts of oil,
Correct your spelling
sweeteners
sweetners
Correct your spelling
sweeteners
like sugar, and some kind of taste enhancers which are very harmful.
This
trend has led to a decrease in the
health
of
people
and
thus
reduced their lifespan. Another very important component of maintaining good
health
is
exercise
Add an article
an exercise
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to keep one’s mind and body fit. A few years before machines were introduced,
people
did most of the household chores on their own which itself was a form of workout and
this
made sure that
people
were fit and healthy. As agriculture was one of the main occupations in the past, most
people
worked
in
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on
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the
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farms and
this
kept them fit.
People
involved in other occupations
such
as fishing had to manually fish which involved a lot of physical work. All of
this
made sure that
people
had a balance of good diet and exercise to keep themselves fit. With the advent of machines and IT jobs, most
people
have a sedentary lifestyle and
this
has caused an increased incidence of
health
problems
such
as heart problems and stroke. To sum up, if
people
in the future try avoiding processed
foods
, exercise every day for half an hour and avoid stress, they can aim at improving their average standard of
health
.
Although
it is hard for
people
to follow a healthy lifestyle if efforts are made in
this
regard, it will definitely bring about the desired results.
Submitted by pnchanikan on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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