Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

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Some animal species face challenges against extinction.

Moreover

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this

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inevitable danger is coming closer for many others.

This

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essay focuses on the reasons behind the challenge and possible preventive actions. To start with, global warming is a major factor in the disappearance of some species tend to disappear. Because

this

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well-known issue affects habitats of the specific kinds and their main resources for survival.

For example

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, sea creatures, e.g. turtles, whales, sharks, and other rare fish, are disturbed by the shortage of clean and sufficient water levels in seas or oceans.

As a result

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, it means that these animals eventually lose their nature, which is required for them to stay alive.

In addition

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, one human activity called illegal hunting triggers extinction. Since some people consider

this

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an opportunity to earn easy money without tax and enable exporting activities for higher profits, they buy and sell illegal animal products in black markets.

For instance

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, the ivory trade in Africa, which is banned, results in the vanishing of the giant elephants nowadays. So, there is a decrease in the number of animals over time.

On the other hand

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, these problems have solutions.

Firstly

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, education is a way to tackle global warming , as citizens do not possess deep knowledge of its background and consequences. We can create an activist mindset with consciousness and empathy with the help of studies, as it eventually touches wildlife.

Secondly

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, to lessen illegal hunting, the government should bring significant rules and a punishment mechanism to warn those who participate in hunting.

Then

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, the hunters obey a pre-defined hunting schedule and manage their jobs only in defined zones,

due to

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restrictions.

To conclude

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, extinction is a part of humanity

due to

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global warming and illegal hunting. What we only need to do against these is to teach how to reduce the effects of global warming in areas in danger and apply strict rules to prevent illegal events.

efkurt

Jul 10, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You explain reasons well, but the solutions part is shorter and less clear.

task response

Make your main ideas more direct. Some sentences are hard to follow, so your meaning is not always clear.

task response

Use more specific and real examples for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Keep your paragraph order clear: reason 1, reason 2, solution 1, solution 2. This will help the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a simple way. Some lines are too long, and the connection is weak.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence flow. A few parts repeat the same idea in different words.

task response

You answer both questions in the task, with reasons and solutions.

task response

You use examples like sea animals and ivory trade to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as To start with, In addition, Firstly, and To conclude.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.