In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Currently,
state
enterprises have less expense for scientific
research
than private firms. I firmly hold the view that the drawbacks pale in comparison with the benefits that
this
trend provides.
To begin
with, I would argue that paying for scientific
research
in the private company
section
Correct your spelling
sector
show examples
has many complexities under the
control
of the
government
. It could be explained by the fact that there are so many private
companies
which organize and manage by themselves about
science
without abiding by the
government
’s laws and regulations which causes disorders in
control
.
This
means like a form of a hundred flowers bloom. To illustrate, they can
research
something which is forbidden by laws or does not meet the customs and traditions
while
lacking the
control
of the
state
.
As a consequence
, that would cause a loss the
control
of society seriously.
In contrast
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
would be quite difficult
for developing
Change preposition
to develop
show examples
science
if only the
government
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without the contribution of the private company
section
Correct your spelling
sector
show examples
.
However
, I strongly believe that the more private
companies
pay for
science
, the more there are advantages for developing the social economy.
Firstly
, private
companies
with enough capacity for finance are more likely to investigate
science
and
that is
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
show examples
need in a corporation's development. To illustrate, some of the Joined Stock
Companies
establish
Wrong verb form
established
show examples
research
and development departments like The Gioi Di Dong JSC or FPT JSC with a very crowd and strong force. After researching and experimenting, they apply achievements to their production lines.
Secondly
, the
state
is sometimes slower than the private firms in researching scientific aspects as following the needs of the community, including both
state
and private corporations.
This
is because the procedures and processes are so complex to pay for the
government
's investment.
This
can lead to something that the private
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
unit tends to invest in
science
more.
However
, we could not be negative about the leading role of the
state
company unit. In conclusion, despite several drawbacks that paying for scientific
research
by more private
companies
than the
government
has, it seems to me that they are far outweighed by potential problems.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the task prompt by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of private companies funding and conducting scientific research. Maintain a clear focus on the specific advantages and disadvantages throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion by organizing the ideas more logically. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and that the ideas within each paragraph are connected cohesively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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