IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries are opening their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that global travel is now becoming much more affordable than that in the past, so a growing number of nations are promoting their
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry dramatically. Personally, while there will be many substantial benefits from
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, some hard problems can
also
Linking Words
 be anticipated. On the one hand, increased
tourism
Use synonyms
 may exacerbate the issue of air pollution in many countries. To be more specific, harmful emissions released from many means of transportation, especially planes, get into the air and severely devastate the ozone layer, causing the greenhouse effect.
For instance
Linking Words
, 8% of the world’s overall greenhouse gas emission is due to
tourism
Use synonyms
, in which around 90% of these emissions come from transportation.
Consequently
Linking Words
, living in an air-polluted place for a long time may raise the risk of several respiratory diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, pneumonia and tuberculosis.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both individuals and the government can gain benefits from the rise of
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an increase in
tourism
Use synonyms
 can provide people with more occupations. Since there will be a huge number of tourists flocking into the country, more people are required to provide the best services for those visitors.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will help reduce the unemployment rate and improve the living standards of the citizens.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the phenomenon could stimulate the economic growth of one country. To be more specific, a nation can gain a large consumption market for its products as long as that nation has a developed
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the total GDP would be increased remarkably and the growth speed may be elevated to an unprecedented level. In conclusion, while air pollution is a splitting headache of
tourism
Use synonyms
, there are still many enormous advantages, including the provision of more work and the economic rise.
Submitted by nguyentatthang1981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: