Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently,the development of
medicine
has been a reason for prolonging human longevity during the past four
years
.It has affected not only elderly people but
also
younger directly.I firmly believe that the benefits of medical improvement surpass its drawbacks. First and foremost,as technology progress has a positive impact on other sectors,it has
also
had a tremendous effect on
medicine
.It is undeniable that there were incurable diseases worldwide about a few
years
ago
such
as blood sugar.Thousands of individuals died of
this
illness.
However
,recently scientists have discovered cures in laboratories that were well-equipped with the latest equipment,with the help of
this
invention numerous patients could live longer.
For example
,in my ,country several people who suffered from blood sugar have been surgery operations successfully over the
last
few
years
.
That is
why the improvement of
medicine
has contributed a lot to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Additionally
, one of the main advances in
medicine
is insemination.The number of newly married couples who do not have a child in spite of living together for a few
years
is increasing year by year but the latest invention enables couples to have a baby by doing insemination.
For instance
,hundreds of women have never had a chance to be mothers but by means of
this
method,they can own babies.
Moreover
,it influences the country's population positively in terms of numbers.
Therefore
,it is important to comprehend that each contribution by
medicine
gives people an opportunity to reach their targets and be happier. In conclusion,recent progress in
medicine
has resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four
years
hence
I believe that the advantages are far greater
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than the disadvantages because of the above-mentioned reasons.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

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task response
Ensure that every point made is directly linked to the question prompt, and make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages of the issue rather than focusing exclusively on benefits.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure to use more transition words to improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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