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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Summer
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holidays
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, in most parts of the world, result in a two-month closure of primary and secondary schools.
While
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 there are significant benefits of long
holidays
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, some people believe that it is more advantageous to make them shorter.
To begin
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 with, long
school
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holidays
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 offer some invaluable positive points for
students
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. First and foremost, it is a great relief from all the struggles they have been through, passing the demanding courses
in addition
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 to spending most of the day on being at
school
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 or studying. What is more, the long enough
summer
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holidays
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 give both the
students
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 and their parents the opportunity to plan for a fascinating trip, which they can never arrange during the syllabus.
Furthermore
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, long
holidays
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 in
summer
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 can be a good chance for
students
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 to brush up on the skills they did not have enough
time
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 to practice.
For example
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, they can enrol in
summer
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 classes in the arts or in their favourite sport,
such
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 as swimming.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that it is better to shorten
school
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holidays
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 for various reasons.
Firstly
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, they believe that a long absence from
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 environment can lead the
students
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 to a path of drastic laziness and distraction, making them unwilling to return to
school
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 and study after a long break.
Second,
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it has been argued that allocating more
time
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 to each semester allows teachers to schedule a better teaching program without the pressure of
time
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 shortage, which leads to an effective, higher-quality education.
Finally
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, a longer
school
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 period gives the student the opportunity to participate in extracurricular activities, enabling them to focus on both their academic courses and their talents simultaneously. In conclusion, a two-month
summer
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 holiday is long enough for
students
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 to recover from the difficulties they face at
school
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 and enjoy the
summer
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 accompanying their families.
However
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, some believe that it is more beneficial to make the
summer
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holidays
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 shorter and allocate more
time
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 to
school
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.

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content
Your essay talks about both sides. To raise score, make 1 or 2 main points for each side very clear. Use simple, real examples from life.
structure
Keep short, clear sentences. Some long lines are hard to read. Break ideas into small parts and link with simple words like and, but, also, because.
editing
Fix small grammar mistakes. For example, say 'long holidays' and 'go back to school' instead of confusing phrases.
content
Clear plan with both sides and some examples.
cohesion
Good use of connectors to link ideas.
structure
Intro and conclusion present the topic and restate the idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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