Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweight its disadvantages?

#people #patriotism #society #outweight

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It is considered by some that being passionate about the motherland

arises

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raises

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many problems

while

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there are others who think that it is an advantage to society. I strongly advocate the latter opinion. Even though excessive love for one's motherland can lead to wars among

countries

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, it is easy to build a nation strongly when it has many patriotic

citizens

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. Excessive patriotic feelings can be harmful as it would make

citizens

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in that

country

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look down on other nations. It can be dangerous because it can lead to wars among

countries

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For instance

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, during my PhD, I met a batch mate who

believes

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believed

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that his

country

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Wrong verb form

was

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the best in the

world

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and

dislikes

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disliked

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students from nations that

pose

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posed

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a threat to his

country

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This

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led to many unpleasant occasions during student gatherings.

However

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, I believe that it is important for a person to have a bond with his native land. As

such

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, when

citizens

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are fond of their

country

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, they have the urge to develop and protect it. If every

country

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has patriotic

citizens

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then

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the

world

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will have many developed

countries

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For example

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, Japan has become one of the most developed

countries

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in the

world

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because its people

loved

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love

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their

country

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and

wanted

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want

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it to stand tall among the

world

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's giants.

Moreover

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, when society cherishes their nation, they are less likely to migrate in search of better opportunities.

As a result

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, the

country

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will not suffer from brain drain. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the advantages of being patriotic are beneficial compared to the disadvantages it has.

Although

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patriotic residents in a particular

country

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may behave superior to other

countries

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, it is an important human virtue that flourished and

defend

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defended

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nations for centuries.

Submitted by suechathu on Tue Nov 29 2022

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extended

Task Achievement: The essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument. However, the discussion lacks depth and fails to fully analyze the advantages and disadvantages of patriotism. More comprehensive examples and analysis are needed to improve task achievement.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the connections between ideas are sparse and the progression of ideas is not always clear. Use more cohesive devices and clear linking phrases to create better coherence and cohesion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweight its disadvantages?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people believe that having a pet helps old people in living a more healthier and enjoyable life. In what ways do old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problem associated with old people having pet?