IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem, others believe that human beings aremore important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is unfortunately true that many
species
Use synonyms
 of animals are now on the brink of extinction.
While
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 some people believe that the interests of human welfare should be a government priority, I agree with those who argue that urgent action must be taken to prevent the
further
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 loss of animal
species
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. On the one hand, everyone who has a social conscience will admit how important it is to bring about major socioeconomic changes to benefit the
mass
Fix the agreement mistake
masses
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 of humanity.
Firstly
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, the effects of poverty, famines and natural disasters across the world are shown on TV screens every day.
Therefore
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, the struggle for a more egalitarian society, in which natural resources are shared, must be pursued vigorously.
Secondly
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, another issue that must be addressed if everyone is to have a decent life is to end wars. The huge allocation of resources to defence budgets - $750 billion annually in the USA alone – could be used to preserve human life, not destroy it.
On the other hand
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, I agree with those in the green movement who insist that the protection of endangered
species
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 of animals and the protection of the human
species
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 go hand-in-hand. Governments should implement
environmentally-friendly
Correct your spelling
environmentally friendly
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 policies, protecting wildlife habitats,
such
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 as the tiger reserves in India,
while
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will create
Wrong verb form
creating
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 local jobs in eco-tourism. They should
also
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 introduce restrictions on pollution and other forms of environmental degradation. For example, the dumping of toxic waste into the rivers and oceans
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 kills rare marine creatures and destroys traditional fishing communities. Individuals must play a part too, by supporting organisations like Greenpeace or the World Wildlife Fund. In conclusion, I believe that the welfare of humans cannot be separated from saving animal
species
Use synonyms
 from extinction, and the campaign for both objectives should unite everyone.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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