Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #success #money #happiness

While there are

people

who consider personal happiness as

success

, there are others who think being wealthy is the name of being successful. I personally agree more with the

second

definition of

success

. In my opinion, wealthy status determines

success

rather than one’s happiness and there are several reasons why I think so. As far as I’m concerned,

people

who have high net worth are often considered successful. Since the beginning of history, there has been a social measurement that assesses

people

by their position in society and how rich they are. And

that is

a natural phenomenon in the human race.

People

who possess a large amount of money

also

have a great impact on the world.

For example

, individuals like Elon Musk and Bill Gates contribute to global trade and trends.

In addition

, even thinking with common sense, we don’t call a broke happy person successful.

Also

, it has been proven that

people

can reach

success

without being happy in the number of researches conducted on successful

people

(Juan, 2012). It is common that most striving

people

struggle

Fix the infinitive

to struggle

show examples

with mental health issues. I barely see a prosperous person completely happy with their life.

Moreover

, being too optimistic about life is dangerous in some way and sometimes

being so pulls

Change the verb form

so pulling

show examples

them back from reaching triumph.

However

people

with great personal delight in their lives tend to achieve

success

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

no matter how much they are happy, society still does not consider them as much

successful

Replace the word

success

show examples

. In conclusion, the term being successful has to do more with earning a lot of money than personal contentment.

Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on Tue Nov 29 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

265 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people today feel that physical money will no longer be used in the future. Others feel it will still have some uses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think that cheap air flights should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.