Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #success #money #happiness

While there are

people

who consider personal happiness as

success

, there are others who think being wealthy is the name of being successful. I personally agree more with the

second

definition of

success

. In my opinion, wealthy status determines

success

rather than one’s happiness and there are several reasons why I think so. As far as I’m concerned,

people

who have high net worth are often considered successful. Since the beginning of history, there has been a social measurement that assesses

people

by their position in society and how rich they are. And

that is

a natural phenomenon in the human race.

People

who possess a large amount of money

also

have a great impact on the world.

For example

, individuals like Elon Musk and Bill Gates contribute to global trade and trends.

In addition

, even thinking with common sense, we don’t call a broke happy person successful.

Also

, it has been proven that

people

can reach

success

without being happy in the number of researches conducted on successful

people

(Juan, 2012). It is common that most striving

people

struggle

Fix the infinitive

to struggle

show examples

with mental health issues. I barely see a prosperous person completely happy with their life.

Moreover

, being too optimistic about life is dangerous in some way and sometimes

being so pulls

Change the verb form

so pulling

show examples

them back from reaching triumph.

However

people

with great personal delight in their lives tend to achieve

success

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

no matter how much they are happy, society still does not consider them as much

successful

Replace the word

success

show examples

. In conclusion, the term being successful has to do more with earning a lot of money than personal contentment.

Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on Tue Nov 29 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial success
Personal happiness
Intrinsic measure
Contentment
Fulfillment
Nurturing relationships
Harmonious life
Career achievements
Social recognition
Subjective nature

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Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

the process of Pu-erh Raw tea and Ripe tea. make a summary regarding the given diagram

It may be a problem for car drivers and cyclists to share the same road. What are the problems and how to improve the situation?

Many claim that tha fast food industry has a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?