Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While there are
people
who consider personal happiness as
success
, there are others who think being wealthy is the name of being successful. I personally agree more with the
second
definition of
success
. In my opinion, wealthy status determines
success
rather than one’s happiness and there are several reasons why I think so. As far as I’m concerned,
people
who have high net worth are often considered successful. Since the beginning of history, there has been a social measurement that assesses
people
by their position in society and how rich they are. And
that is
a natural phenomenon in the human race.
People
who possess a large amount of money
also
have a great impact on the world.
For example
, individuals like Elon Musk and Bill Gates contribute to global trade and trends.
In addition
, even thinking with common sense, we don’t call a broke happy person successful.
Also
, it has been proven that
people
can reach
success
without being happy in the number of researches conducted on successful
people
(Juan, 2012). It is common that most striving
people
struggle
Fix the infinitive
to struggle
show examples
with mental health issues. I barely see a prosperous person completely happy with their life.
Moreover
, being too optimistic about life is dangerous in some way and sometimes
being so pulls
Change the verb form
so pulling
show examples
them back from reaching triumph.
However
,
people
with great personal delight in their lives tend to achieve
success
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
no matter how much they are happy, society still does not consider them as much
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
. In conclusion, the term being successful has to do more with earning a lot of money than personal contentment.
Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial success
  • Personal happiness
  • Intrinsic measure
  • Contentment
  • Fulfillment
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Harmonious life
  • Career achievements
  • Social recognition
  • Subjective nature
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