The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
In the present age, many people are concerned about their
weight
, but it is not always just because of the
looks. It has been noticed that more and more children are overweight which can result in a variety of serious health issues. Change the word
their
This
essay will examine the reasons behind this
tendency and how it can affect individuals in the long run.
The main problem, that is
behind the recent growth in the percentage of overweight children in the
western society, is the change in our lifestyles. Nowadays many people work in front of computers in their offices. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, adults, who actually work in those conditions, tend to raise their infants the same way, since they get used to living without any activities. Nevertheless
, not many people realize, that little ones require much more physical activities than adults because they are growing individuals, who have a lot of energy. For instance
, if a child does not have the opportunity to do some physical activities together with
his family, he is only going to watch tv
, or sit on the sofa the whole day and eat, so he would not get bored.
The mentioned causes Correct your spelling
TV
also
have an impact on the little ones well
Rephrase
apply
being
. The foremost effect is seen on the cardiovascular system which can turn into life-threatening situations, like cardiac arrest. The other possible repercussion is diabetes, which can Verb problem
well-being
also
burden the life of a child and in the long run, can cause organ failure. Either way, it is obvious that problems concerning weight
can shorten one’s life span and pose a threat of early death.
All in all, it is important to follow your weight
, keep a healthy diet, and maintain a physically active lifestyle, because the consequences can be cruel. But even if a person notices some problems with his weight
, he should seek help from a professional, because not always it is just because of an unhealthy lifestyle.Submitted by oimigle on
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task response
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task. It effectively discusses the causes and effects of the increasing percentage of overweight children in Western society. You've provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate the key ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported and effectively linked throughout the essay. Additionally, the essay maintains coherence and cohesion through the use of transitions and linking words, which enhances the overall organization of the text.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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