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The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend
In the present age, many people are concerned about their
weight
, but it is not always just because of
the
Change the word
their
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 looks. It has been noticed that more and more children are overweight which can result in a variety of serious health issues.
This
 essay will examine the reasons behind
this
 tendency and how it can affect individuals in the long run. The main problem,
that is
 behind the recent growth in the percentage of overweight children in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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western society, is the change in our lifestyles. Nowadays many people work in front of computers in their offices.
Therefore
, adults, who actually work in those conditions, tend to raise their infants the same way, since they get used to living without any activities.
Nevertheless
, not many people realize, that little ones require much more physical activities than adults because they are growing individuals, who have a lot of energy.
For instance
, if a child does not have the opportunity to do some physical activities
together with
 his family, he is only going to watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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, or sit on the sofa the whole day and eat, so he would not get bored. The mentioned causes
also
 have an impact on the little ones
well
Rephrase
apply
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being
Verb problem
well-being
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. The foremost effect is seen on the cardiovascular system which can turn into life-threatening situations, like cardiac arrest. The other possible repercussion is diabetes, which can
also
 burden the life of a child and in the long run, can cause organ failure. Either way, it is obvious that problems concerning
weight
 can shorten one’s life span and pose a threat of early death. All in all, it is important to follow your
weight
, keep a healthy diet, and maintain a physically active lifestyle, because the consequences can be cruel. But even if a person notices some problems with his
weight
, he should seek help from a professional, because not always it is just because of an unhealthy lifestyle.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task response
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task. It effectively discusses the causes and effects of the increasing percentage of overweight children in Western society. You've provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate the key ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported and effectively linked throughout the essay. Additionally, the essay maintains coherence and cohesion through the use of transitions and linking words, which enhances the overall organization of the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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