IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people feel that countries should produce most of the food that is eaten in their country and import as little as possible. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#people #countries #food #country #import #be #case #situation
The table provides data on the number of new pupils enrolled at Manchester University, the percentage of
students
 by gender and those living from abroad or within 40 miles of the school between 1937 and 2017. Overall, the proportion of international
students
 exhibited an upward trend, whereas the local
students
 showed a decline.
Moreover
, the total figure for freshmen saw a dramatic growth over an 80-year period.

 Numbers of pupils saw the greatest change in enrolment, with 1133 people in 1967 almost four times 327 people in 1937, and it went up significantly to 6254 after 50 years later.
In addition
, the female rate fluctuated throughout the period, which started at 45%, decreasing by 10% over 30 years, before climbing back to 55% in 2017.
Likewise
, the male rate was a rise from 55% to 65% but fell to less than half (45%) at the end of the time. 

It is worth noting that over half
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 came from local areas in 1937, but
this
 percentage hit the bottom to only 1-2% in 2017.
In contrast
, the student rate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas saw a steady rise from 6%
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 4 nations in 1937 to 32%
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 102 countries in 2017.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: