IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People nowadays are spending more time at the workplace and it is argued this a a problem for family life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #workplace #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, individuals spend more time at performance and people see it as a challenge for family life. Opinion, I agree to a certain extent that people who spent a lot of hours and effort are due to family life. Below, I will discuss my opinion and give examples .
Firstly
Linking Words
, A workshop is an area where people are rewarded for displaying their skills. They are a lot of reasons why individuals perform for long hours.
For instance
Linking Words
, single parents with so many responsibilities
such
Linking Words
 as sending their kids to school, buying foodstuffs, and paying bills and clothes will eventually want to earn more money to be able to take care of their families and to achieve these goals they need to effort double or extend their shift.
Secondly
Linking Words
, others task all day just to stay away from their spouse and or children.
For example
Linking Words
, many citizens nowadays are very disrespectful towards their parents. Some even treat and beat them up. From that time, guardians think the only way to stay healthy and less stressed is by occupying themselves with their jobs. Many will look for another task just to keep their mind off things.
In addition
Linking Words
, some couples are violent toward their partner which pushes them away from them. Residents will go for a night's trial so as to stay away from their other half who is very aggressive at night when drunk.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most clients who run their businesses stay at their job side to ensure everything runs smoothly and perfectly. To
further
Linking Words
 explain, imagine a family running a wholesale shop that opens at 8am and closes at 11pm. Eventually, they rely on the success of their business to be able to provide for their day-to-day needs. By so doing they will do anything and everything to achieve even if it means spending the e tire day at the company. To conclude, situations vary differently for folks. So the government should put a little of hours a person has to work. In order to reduce health issues caused by my lack of sleep, stress and physical abuse which causes civilians to stay away from their homes and spend most of their name in the industry
Submitted by mankaamiriene on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: