IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays social media addiction become trend discuss about causes and effects for this problem?

#media #addiction #trend #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, with improvements in technology , communication ways have changed completely.
people
Use synonyms
 now are spending much more time on social
media
Use synonyms
 to keep themselves updated,
As a result
Linking Words
 , we are facing addiction to social
media
Use synonyms
 which is affecting our health. From a psychological point of view,
people
Use synonyms
 suffering from a lack of self-confidence are more active on social
media
Use synonyms
. In fact, it seems that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they can hide in the virtual world
hence
Linking Words
, they have a chance to present themselves with other personalities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a hectic lifestyle needs advanced communication tools as well, in other statements, another reason which makes
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use social
media
Use synonyms
 more is , they can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many things at the same time ,
for instance
Linking Words
, checking
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
, buying online and hanging out online with a friend, so these are the main merits of
this
Linking Words
 system.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, addiction to social
media
Use synonyms
 is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sophisticated problem. Not only it brings some mental issues like depression but, it
also
Linking Words
 brings some physical problems
such
Linking Words
 as obesity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if a person sits most of his time on a chair, he will have some problems which I mentioned before.
Also
Linking Words
 , as we see many
people
Use synonyms
 who are addicted to social
media
Use synonyms
 are avoiding communicating with other
people
Use synonyms
 in the real world.
Thus
Linking Words
 these are the bad impact of
this
Linking Words
 system.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
although
Linking Words
 online systems have brought us lots of good things,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we cannot deny the negative side of it too. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 how to use social
media
Use synonyms
 should be taught to the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 , in order to keep them safe from the demerit side of it
Submitted by A.SALEHI.KOHESTANI on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: