IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources #e
Wild
animals
 have been around longer than
humans
, and to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
 even
humans
 were once just wild
animals
. Suddenly not protecting wild
animals
 is a huge decision, which potentially comes with huge changes to the natural ecosystem so I will be analyzing both sides of the argument thoroughly.
Firstly
, shortly after stopping the protection of wild
animals
, there would be huge changes around the world. Wild animal populations are already in a difficult position, because of human activities, most prominently by lowering their territory through human expansion,
for example
 by cutting down forests. Wild
animals
also
 play an important part in the overall natural ecosystem of the world, without them wild forests, and plants
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 would suffer greatly. There
also
 would be a large loss in general biodiversity, which is crucial for
humans
, because we have learned a lot from nature.
On the other hand
, ceasing the protection of wild
animals
 would free up a lot of human resources which could potentially be used to assist a more relevant cause. It would
also
 grant
humans
 a large amount of currently non-usable territory, because of wildlife regulations,
thus
 increasing the places we could expand to. Both sides have compelling arguments going for them, but after analyzing both sides,
the
Correct pronoun usage
I the
show examples
 benefits of protecting wild
animals
 greatly outweigh the positive aspects of the other side,
therefore
 I disagree with the statement.
Submitted by benkepeti27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: