People are becoming famous with the help of TV programmes and the Internet. Discuss this viewpoint and give your opinion.

#people #help #tv #programmes #internet

In our modern life, due to progressive technology, individuals becoming well known While others assert that one's personal life will be severely impacted . From my perspective, I tend to the

first

statement, the idea of both sides with my own opinion together will be

further

discussed and elaborated in

this

essay. On the one hand,there are a number of significant benefits of being renowned. One of the very obvious advantages of being famous is that fame generally brings lots of fortune. Celebrities and other famous people are generally richer.To illustrate,they have Luxurious homes and cars, fancy gifts, expensive clothes and other

such

materialistic pleasures of life convert from a dream to a reality when people become famous celebrities.

In addition

,whether it is career-related or not, many different opportunities arise when a person becomes famous.

For instance

, Kim Kardashian is not only renowned in the entertainment industry but affords to lodge in newer businesses

such

as perfumes and apparel.

In addition

, Involving in the business is what most celebrities choose once they reach stardom.

Nevertheless

,the privacy of these individuals is going down.

Hence

,when humans become a star, stalkers can be a big headache and even worse they can be at risk

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

instance, recently strangers started calling Halle Berry in her office and started sending flowers with notes threatening to kill her if she doesn't pay the amount of money they need to those people .

As a result

, to be popular, you must always watch your back. It would seem that as soon as a person becomes famous, the only safe place that he has is the comfort of home. In conclusion,having a stable economic position and a respectable standing in society can be benefits of achieving fame through an online network. While its drawbacks include a decline in privacy.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are becoming famous with the help of TV programmes and the Internet. Discuss this viewpoint and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most importamt aim of science should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communications has had a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?