IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some business prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some government have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree?

#business #offices #government #places
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In 21th ceturies, several occupation forbid smoking in any of companies. Several author have prohibited smoking in each of society sites. From my point of view, I agree the
first
Linking Words
 paragraphs and In
this
Linking Words
 essay Iwill consider both sides. On the one hand, the commonwealth have to banned smoking everywhere that's why it's detrimental effect to individeals
health
Use synonyms
 because smoking causes various diseases. Take as an example: according to the statement of the Ministry of
Health
Use synonyms
 shows that, a lot of sickness dou to 80 per cent people's
health
Use synonyms
 around the world. That's why they have to prohibit smoking everywhere. If government or managers of public affairs do not ban to smoking, many
health
Use synonyms
 problem arise.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that it causes many accidents because If smokers are not careful, there will be more fires in the world because many fires are caused by cigarette smoke.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the government bans smoking in its country, it is very beneficial for the environment, because the smell of cigarettes is one of the most harmful aspects that affect the fresh air. Take as an example: according to ecologists point that, most of the world's air pollution is caused by toxic fumes. one of the good reasons why smoking is allowed again is that it is useful for many addicts and alcoholics because their body gets used to doing
this
Linking Words
 activity, if it is banned in public places, their
health
Use synonyms
 condition may worsen.
That is
Linking Words
 why governments and companies should allow smoking in public places. In conclution that having weighed everything mentioned up I can come to conclution that I agree the
second
Linking Words
 paragraphs because smoking causes many problems.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: