IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Certain community thinks that the government should replace the old
buildings
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 and build the modern ones
instead
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. I agree as long as
this
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 policy doesn'
t
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 change the original
buildings
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, particularly historical
buildings
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, and build modern ones in the unlivable place
instead
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. I will explain the reasons in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, spending
money
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 on refurbishing old
buildings
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, which are desolated, seems to have more disadvantages than rebuilding them.
This
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 is because the costs needed for renovation of the old
buildings
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 that seem uninhabitable are more expensive than building a new one.
For instance
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, renovating an old and abandoned apartment because of its structure may cause accidents to its residents someday so it can cost more rather than rebuilding it.
Consequently
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, the budget for an old building can be ballooned just to renovate it many times.
Thus
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, building new modern ones is less costs than rehabilitating them.
On the other hand
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, different from an abandoned apartment, some historical attractions can not be rebuilt despite the old conditions it have. The reason for
this
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 statement is that rebuilding it may take the originality and historical side away from the building.
For example
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, a historical place in a city that even the government doesn'
t
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 pay attention to may seem not maintained so it needs a restoration to maintain the historical part of the building.
Thus
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, rebuilding it may take away and cost more than reconstructing it. In conclusion, spending too much
money
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 on making an old building is acceptable for certain
buildings
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,
such
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 as historical
buildings
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, yet it will be excessive if the
money
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 is used for certain
buildings
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 that don'
t
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 contain any historical aspects.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 spending too much
money
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 on old
buildings
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 is allowed for
buildings
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 that don'
t
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 have historical aspects in them. These reasons can be considerable to the relevant government.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay to avoid ambiguity and maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop logical paragraphing with clear central ideas supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas.
task achievement
Expand upon key points with specific evidence and examples to fully support your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task, including clear and well-developed explanations of your views.
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