some people thing online shopping is better, while others prefer going to the shops. discuss both these view and give your own opinion

#people #shops

In modern days, some

people

believe that when they

use

internet shopping malls, which has a positive effect on them than buying items to go to offline shops,

whereas

others disagree with

this

perspective. I will discuss both views and I endorse the statement of a former idea owing to a number of reasons that will contend in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, some

people

think that it has some disadvantages when they

use

online shopping through their smartphones and laptops at home.

For instance

, users of online shops can make some mistakes

such

they buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

big and small sizes or different colour goods from time to time, unlike going to street markets that can wear the clothes there.

Thus

, it is hugely troublesome and complicated to do

this

process of refund.

In addition

, they can access easily miscellaneous online websites,

as a result

, it can lead to becoming to be those who are shopaholics if they buy something too much.

On the other hand

however

, it can bring some felicity into our lives in modern society. There is various type of online shopping malls on the Internet that

people

can

use

regardless of time and space

although

they live hectic life because of

hard-working

Correct word choice

hard work

show examples

and studying.

Moreover

, if

people

operate online malls, they can save tremendous money because they do not hire a part-time clerk even if it runs day and night.

Furthermore

people

can feel it is very convenient to deliver service, especially those who suffer from physical,and senior citizens if they learn how to

use

them.

To sum up

, it is undeniable that it has some demerits to the public with the technological advances, but others can

use

these kinds of diverse shopping sites on the Internet since it gives numerous advantages to both our society and individuals.

Submitted by komi4144 on Thu Dec 01 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on online shopping vs. in-store shopping. However, the arguments presented are not fully developed and lack depth. It is important to provide more detailed reasoning and examples to support the viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical flow of ideas in the essay, but the organization could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the supporting details are well connected to the main idea. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened to provide a more effective framework for the essay.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people thing online shopping is better, while others prefer going to the shops. discuss both these view and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as tow thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Genetically engineered food is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?