Some people believe that the while family (grandparents, uncles and aunt) bringing up children is better than only parents. What is your opinion?

#people #grandparents #uncles #aunt #children #parents

The majority of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society considers that all family

members

, grandparents, uncles and aunts are responsible for the formation of children's

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

. I strongly agree with the idea that other family

members

should support the parents with

this

part of life.

This

essay will support my arguments in detail with relevant examples. It is true that raising offspring is not an easy task and only parents can handle

such

a difficult task.

Nevertheless

, father and mothers always

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to prefer bringing up

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

son alone.

For example

, mothers in foreign countries do not allow their daughters to visit their cousins until they reach a certain age. Because they think that it will affect them externally and they need to become good citizens tomorrow.

On the contrary

, others do not agree with

this

, in their opinion, all dynasty

members

play an important role in the child's growth.

In addition

, young

Correct your spelling

generations

generation

genarations

Correct your spelling

generations

can tell their grandmother or aunt what they could not tell their parents.

For example

, nowadays both father and mother are busy with office work and pay less attention to the kid.

As a result

, they start to feel alone. In

such

situations, other dynasty

members

take care of them.

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

the relationship will get stronger as well. In conclusion, I think both parties are responsible for educating the younger. Because

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

precious

hence

, I would like to suggest

to bring

Change the verb form

bringing

show examples

up a child with their blood rapports as he will turn into a good citizen of tomorrow.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Dec 01 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the while family (grandparents, uncles and aunt) bringing up children is better than only parents. What is your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that it is good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valued to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.