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Band 5.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You have now reached the end of your Writing test; download the answers and see how well you have done.

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The hectic and fast-paced lifestyle of the twenty-first century requires a broad spectrum of options to be offered for
education
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the education
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 of the upcoming generations. Many advocate homeschooling as a superior method to enhance adolescents' learning capabilities,
however
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, others, myself included, are of the belief that nothing can alter the formal educational system. On the one hand,
parents
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 are conceived to be the ultimate teachers and definitely they know the best
interest
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interests
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 of their children. If
parents
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 homeschooled pupils over the past decades, we would certainly
had
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have
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 a higher quality and more sympathetic younger generation,
for example
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.
Furthermore
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, teaching is an intrinsic virtue that
parents
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 perfect by
practicing
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practising
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 with their loved ones which results in a superior outcome in terms of unparalleled comprehension, moral sympathy and sharpness of the mind.
Therefore
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, since members of a family have a strong bond, a unified language and a nuanced understanding of each other, homeschooling can introduce advantages not only in technical terms of education but
also
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 in terms of advancing moral and social responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, others, like me, argue that the well-established formal educational system of the nation comprised of public and private schools
are
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is
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 paramount and irreplaceable. If juveniles don't attend schools in order to learn and play with their classmates,
for instance
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, they will be unable to master or even become compatible with vital soft skills like teamwork
as well as
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 leadership and communication skills, a recent Harvard study revealed.
Moreover
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, the essential aforementioned
know-hows
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know-how
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 are crucial for adolescents' future success in life in both professional and personal dimensions.
Hence
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, attending educational institutions presents invaluable opportunities and skill sets that cannot be offered if
parents
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 homeschool their young. In conclusion,
although
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 many are of the opinion that homeschooling has precious merits and ought to be cherished, others, including me, argue that nothing can replace attending school owing to vital experiences,
expertices
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expertise
experiences
 and
know-hows
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know-how
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 that are solely available if students go to school and benefit from the collective environment it offers.

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task achievement
Your essay contains some high-quality arguments, but there is room for more specific examples and explanations to better support your points. Elaborate more on personal experiences or widely recognized studies.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the arguments is generally sound, though making transitions between paragraphs smoother will improve coherence. Ensure that each paragraph seamlessly leads into the next to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, focusing on ensuring that the main body paragraphs are equally robust will further enhance the overall structure. Strengthen the internal organization by clearly delineating main points and supporting details within each paragraph.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are particularly strong, providing clear context and summarizing your arguments effectively.
supported main points
You have done well to approach the topic from multiple perspectives, presenting balanced viewpoints before giving your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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