IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The young can get easily influenced by the internet. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to exercise more control over their use of the internet. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #exercise #control
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The charts compare four retail
sectors
 which are electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
, food and beverage, home furnishings and video games in Canada in terms of the proportion of their internet
sales
 in two years, 2005 and 2010. Generally, it is readily apparent that the proportion of online
sales
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each of the four
sectors
 changed
Correct your spelling
significantly
signifcantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
/
dramatically from 2005 to 2010. While the figures for food and beverage and
also
 video games increased, the figure for the other 2
sectors
 fell. In 2005, the proportion of online
sales
 of food and beverage was slightly less than a quarter but
this
 rose to just over a
third
 in 2010.
In addition
/
moreover
, the percentage for internet
sales
 of video games went up
/
slightly increased, by 5% from the 2005 figure of 18%/just under
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
.
In contrast
, the percentages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
sales
others
Change preposition
in others
show examples
sectors
 decreased
/
declined. The most dramatic fall
/
Correct your spelling
significant
signidicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 drop was in the home furnishings retail sector. While
this
 figure was
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
 of the total online
sales
 of these four
sectors
 in 2005, it fell to less than a fifth in 2010. There was
also
 a decrease
/
fall in the electronics and appliances sector, which saw a little drop in 2005 from just over a
third
 to just under a
third
 in 2010.
Submitted by matlbert20 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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